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LANGUAGE HUMOR AT ITS FINEST
Making yourself more proficient in English need not be a drag. You can actually speed up the learning process and make it fun by generously lacing it with humor—but preferably the best that the English language can offer.
In this new section, apart from giving a fixed slot to our weekly “In a Lighter Vein” pop-out humor piece in the Forum homepage, we have put together the finest of those weekly humor pop-ups since the Forum started. The best of them—collected from various sources on the web and sent in by friends—are all here, posted in the Forum under the following headings: Wordplay, On the Job, Student and School Life, and Miscellany.
So if you missed any of the best of the Forum’s weekly humor pop-ups, you can enjoy and savor them again and again here—and better still, share them with your friends!
Click here to go to the board (requires registration to post)
Winners of Omni's August 1986 Pun Competition
Have you heard about the cowardly dragon that didn’t observe the Sabbath? He only preyed on weak knights.
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The frustrated golfer drove over the river and threw the woods.
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I refuse to converse while eating lamb. I will not mince words with ewe.
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It’s colder than a teacher’s wit.
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A good pun is its own reword.
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A programmer was talking about topology and taking a rather heavy-handed viewpoint. A colleague said, “Wait a minute, there are two sides to everything,” to which he replied, “Moebius, maybe no.”
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My husband gave me a permanent wave, and now he’s gone.
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What do you get when you roll a hand grenade across a kitchen floor? Linoleum Blownapart!
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Puns are just some antics.
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We trussed each other—let our marriage knot be undone.
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Caution! Incorrigible punster (Please don’t incorrige).
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After Mary Poppins was done with her film she went to California and became an expert at predicting people with bad breath. Her sign read, “Super California Psychic - expert, halitosis.”
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Two American astronomers were visiting a French observatory. One asks the other, “Comet Halley view?”
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As the master said to his confused disciple, “That was Zen, this is Tao.”
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Burlesque-show ad: Here The Belles Peel.
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Boxing razes the consciousness.
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If you don’t pay the exorcist, do you get repossessed?
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Salutation to a tasteless punster: “Sir, I would toast you if you were better bred.”
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It was dinnertime in Russia. Soviet.
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Requesting more ice water in a Mexican restaurant, a man said, “Agua frio, pour some more.”
Go to Wordplay now!
Go to On the Job now
Go to Student and School Life now!
Go to Miscellany now!
