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LANGUAGE HUMOR AT ITS FINEST
Making yourself more proficient in English need not be a drag. You can actually speed up the learning process and make it fun by generously lacing it with humor—but preferably the best that the English language can offer.
In this new section, apart from giving a fixed slot to our weekly “In a Lighter Vein” pop-out humor piece in the Forum homepage, we have put together the finest of those weekly humor pop-ups since the Forum started. The best of them—collected from various sources on the web and sent in by friends—are all here, posted in the Forum under the following headings: Wordplay, On the Job, Student and School Life, and Miscellany.
So if you missed any of the best of the Forum’s weekly humor pop-ups, you can enjoy and savor them again and again here—and better still, share them with your friends!
Click here to go to the board (requires registration to post)
If a tree falls...
By David Lawrence
This is the question: “If a tree falls in the forest, and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?”
Here are some answers:
If a tree falls in the forest...
Catholicism: “It fell for our sins.”
Judaism: “Oy, the tree fell, again?!”
Buddhism: “There is no tree.”
Islam: “Islam is not really about knocking over trees.”
Fundamentalism: “The tree was Evil.”
Racism: “That kind of tree is always falling.”
Plagiarism: “That kind of tree is always falling.”
Defeatism: “All the trees are going to fall.”
Pessimism: “That is the forest of the fallen tree.”
Optimism: “Almost all the trees are standing.”
Capitalism: “Let’s sell the wood.”
Globalism: “Let’s sell the wood, half way around the world.”
Communism: “Let’s knock over all the other trees.”
Socialism: “Let’s ask the other trees to fall.”
Nepotism: “Give the tree to my cousin.”
Isolationism: “That tree is none of our business; in fact, neither is the forest.”
And the one that actually tries to answer the question asked, is...
Quantum Physics: “Of course not, by definition.”
© Copyright 2004 David Lawrence
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Go to Miscellany now!
