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LANGUAGE HUMOR AT ITS FINEST
Making yourself more proficient in English need not be a drag. You can actually speed up the learning process and make it fun by generously lacing it with humor—but preferably the best that the English language can offer.
In this new section, apart from giving a fixed slot to our weekly “In a Lighter Vein” pop-out humor piece in the Forum homepage, we have put together the finest of those weekly humor pop-ups since the Forum started. The best of them—collected from various sources on the web and sent in by friends—are all here, posted in the Forum under the following headings: Wordplay, On the Job, Student and School Life, and Miscellany.
So if you missed any of the best of the Forum’s weekly humor pop-ups, you can enjoy and savor them again and again here—and better still, share them with your friends!
Click here to go to the board (requires registration to post)
Translations from Plato (Modernized and Updated)
“Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, if they get angry,
they’ll be a mile away and barefoot.”
***
“A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.”
***
“For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.”
***
“Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.”
***
“Always yield to temptation, because it may not pass your way again.”
***
“Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.”
***
“Eat well—stay fit—die anyway.”
***
“Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.”
***
“A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.”
***
“Middle age is when broadness of mind and narrowness of waist change places.”
***
“Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.”
***
“Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.”
***
“Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.”
The Plato referred to in the title is, of course, the classical Greek philosopher, mathematician, writer of philosophical dialogues, and founder of the Academy in Athens, which was the first institution of higher learning in the Western world. Along with his mentor, Socrates, and his student, Aristotle, Plato helped lay the foundations of Western philosophy and science. The above quotations are a parody of passages from his famous Socratic dialogues, which consisted of thirty-six dialogues and thirteen letters attributed to him. – Joe Carillo
Go to Wordplay now!
Go to On the Job now
Go to Student and School Life now!
Go to Miscellany now!
