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LANGUAGE HUMOR AT ITS FINEST
Making yourself more proficient in English need not be a drag. You can actually speed up the learning process and make it fun by generously lacing it with humor—but preferably the best that the English language can offer.
In this new section, apart from giving a fixed slot to our weekly “In a Lighter Vein” pop-out humor piece in the Forum homepage, we have put together the finest of those weekly humor pop-ups since the Forum started. The best of them—collected from various sources on the web and sent in by friends—are all here, posted in the Forum under the following headings: Wordplay, On the Job, Student and School Life, and Miscellany.
So if you missed any of the best of the Forum’s weekly humor pop-ups, you can enjoy and savor them again and again here—and better still, share them with your friends!
Click here to go to the board (requires registration to post)
Technical Terms in Plain English
By Kathy McGinty
1. A number of different approaches are being tried
We are still clueless.
2. Extensive report is being prepared on a fresh approach to the problem
We just hired three kids fresh out of college.
3. Close project coordination
We know who to blame.
4. Major technological breakthrough
It works only so so, but looks very hi-tech.
5. Customer satisfaction is delivered, assured
We are so far behind schedule the customer is happy just to get it delivered.
6. Preliminary operational tests were inconclusive
The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch.
7. Test results were extremely gratifying
We are so surprised that the stupid thing works.
8. The entire concept will have to be abandoned
The only person who understood the thing quit.
9. It is in the process
It is so wrapped up in red tape that the situation is about hopeless.
10. We will look into it
Forget it! We have enough problems for now.
11. Please note and initial
Let’s spread the responsibility for the mistake.
12. Give us the benefit of your thinking
We’ll listen to what you have to say as long as it doesn't interfere with what we've already done.
13. Give us your interpretation
I can’t wait to hear this nonsense!
14. See me or let’s discuss
Come into my office, I’m lonely.
15. All new
Parts not interchangeable with the previous design.
16. Rugged
Too darn heavy to lift!
17. Lightweight
Lighter than Rugged.
18. Years of development
One finally worked.
19. Energy-saving
Achieved when the power switch is off.
20. Low maintenance
Impossible to fix if broken.
The PlainLanguage.gov website was set up in 1994 and is being maintained by the Plain Language Action and Information Network (PLAIN), a group of federal employees from many different agencies and specialties in the United States. It advocates clarity in government communication.
Go to Wordplay now!
Go to On the Job now
Go to Student and School Life now!
Go to Miscellany now!
