- HOME
- INTRO TO THE FORUM
- USE AND MISUSE
- BADLY WRITTEN, BADLY SPOKEN
- GETTING
TO KNOW ENGLISH - PREPARING FOR ENGLISH PROFICIENCY TESTS
- GOING DEEPER INTO ENGLISH
- YOU ASKED ME THIS QUESTION
- EDUCATION AND TEACHING FORUM
- ADVICE AND DISSENT
- MY MEDIA ENGLISH WATCH
- STUDENTS' SOUNDING BOARD
- LANGUAGE HUMOR AT ITS FINEST
- THE LOUNGE
- NOTABLE WORKS BY OUR VERY OWN
- ESSAYS BY JOSE CARILLO
- Long Noun Forms Make Sentences Exasperatingly Difficult To Grasp
- Good Conversationalists Phrase Their Tag Questions With Finesse
- The Pronoun “None” Can Mean Either “Not One” Or “Not Any”
- A Rather Curious State Of Affairs In The Grammar Of “Do”-Questions
- Why I Consistently Use The Serial Comma
- Misuse Of “Lie” And “Lay” Punctures Many Writers’ Command Of English
- ABOUT JOSE CARILLO
- READINGS ABOUT LANGUAGE
- TIME OUT FROM ENGLISH GRAMMAR
- NEWS AND COMMENTARY
- BOOKSHOP
- ARCHIVES
Click here to recommend us!
LANGUAGE HUMOR AT ITS FINEST
Making yourself more proficient in English need not be a drag. You can actually speed up the learning process and make it fun by generously lacing it with humor—but preferably the best that the English language can offer.
In this new section, apart from giving a fixed slot to our weekly “In a Lighter Vein” pop-out humor piece in the Forum homepage, we have put together the finest of those weekly humor pop-ups since the Forum started. The best of them—collected from various sources on the web and sent in by friends—are all here, posted in the Forum under the following headings: Wordplay, On the Job, Student and School Life, and Miscellany.
So if you missed any of the best of the Forum’s weekly humor pop-ups, you can enjoy and savor them again and again here—and better still, share them with your friends!
Click here to go to the board (requires registration to post)
Business One-Liners
Some One-Liners for Good Measure
“A consultant is an ordinary person a long way from home.”
***
“A president of a democracy is a man who is always ready, willing, and able to lay down your life for his country.”
***
“A flying particle will seek the nearest eye.”
***
“A fool and his money are soon elected.”
***
“A bad day fishing is better than a good day at work.”
***
“A bird in the hand is always safer than one overhead.”
***
“A boss with no humor is like a job that is no fun.”
***
“A clean tie attracts the soup of the day.”
***
“A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.” - Milton Berle
***
“A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.”
***
“A consensus means that everyone agrees to say collectively what no one believes individually.” - Abba Eban
***
“A conservative is a man who believes that nothing should be done for the first time.”
***
“A crisis is when you cannot say ‘let’s just forget the whole thing.”
***
“A donkey is a horse designed by a study team.”
***
“A free agent is anything but.”
***
“A friend in need is a pest indeed.”
***
“A good scapegoat is hard to find.”
***
“A good slogan can stop analysis for fifty years.”
***
“A good solution can be successfully applied to almost any problem.”
***
“A lack of leadership is no substitute for inaction.”
***
“A little ambiguity never hurt anyone.”
***
“A little humility is arrogance.”
***
“A man of quality does not fear a woman seeking equality.”
***
“A memorandum is written not to inform the reader, but to protect the writer.”
***
“A pipe gives a wise man time to think and a fool something to put in his mouth.”
***
“A problem cannot be solved using the same level of thinking that created it. (In other words, if you screw it up, you can’t fix it.)”
***
“After all is said and done, usually more is said than done.”
***
“After any unit has been completely assembled, extra components will be found on the bench.”
***
“Afternoon: that part of the day we spend worrying about how we wasted the morning.”
***
“Aiming for the least common denominator sometimes causes division by zero.”
***
“All good things must come to an end, I just want to know when they start!”
—From the collections of ahajokes.com
Go to Wordplay now!
Go to On the Job now
Go to Student and School Life now!
Go to Miscellany now!
