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LANGUAGE HUMOR AT ITS FINEST
Making yourself more proficient in English need not be a drag. You can actually speed up the learning process and make it fun by generously lacing it with humor—but preferably the best that the English language can offer.
In this new section, apart from giving a fixed slot to our weekly “In a Lighter Vein” pop-out humor piece in the Forum homepage, we have put together the finest of those weekly humor pop-ups since the Forum started. The best of them—collected from various sources on the web and sent in by friends—are all here, posted in the Forum under the following headings: Wordplay, On the Job, Student and School Life, and Miscellany.
So if you missed any of the best of the Forum’s weekly humor pop-ups, you can enjoy and savor them again and again here—and better still, share them with your friends!
Click here to go to the board (requires registration to post)
20 Spot-on Political Quips for Our Times
“Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.” –Plato
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“The problem with political jokes is they get elected.” –Henry Cate, VII
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“There ought to be one day—just one—when there is open season on senators.” –Will Rogers
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“We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.” –Aesop
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“A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.” –George Bernard Shaw
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“Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner.” –James Bovard, Civil Libertarian (1994)
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“No man’s life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session.” –Mark Twain (1866)
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“When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I’m beginning to believe it.” –Clarence Darrow
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“Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.” –Ronald Reagan
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“Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you.” –Author Unknown
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“I offer my opponents a bargain: if they will stop telling lies about us, I will stop telling the truth about them.” –Adlai Stevenson, campaign speech 1952
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“A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.” –Texas Guinan
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“Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other.” –Oscar Ameringer
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“If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these acceptance speeches, there wouldn’t be any inducement to go to heaven.” –Will Rogers
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“Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.” –Nikita Khrushchev
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“Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel.” –John Quinton
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“Any American who is prepared to run for president should automatically, by definition, be disqualified from ever doing so.” –Gore Vidal
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“I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.” –Charles de Gaulle
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“Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.” –Doug Larson
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“Don’t vote; it only encourages them.” –Author Unknown
—From the Lifesmith Classic Fractals “Fun With the English Language” collection
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Go to Miscellany now!
