LANGUAGE HUMOR AT ITS FINEST
Making yourself more proficient in English need not be a drag. You can actually speed up the learning process and make it fun by generously lacing it with humor—but preferably the best that the English language can offer.
In this new section, apart from giving a fixed slot to our weekly “In a Lighter Vein” pop-out humor piece in the Forum homepage, we have put together the finest of those weekly humor pop-ups since the Forum started. The best of them—collected from various sources on the web and sent in by friends—are all here, posted in the Forum under the following headings: Wordplay, On the Job, Student and School Life, and Miscellany.
So if you missed any of the best of the Forum’s weekly humor pop-ups, you can enjoy and savor them again and again here—and better still, share them with your friends!
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19 Fun Quotable Quotes to Brighten Up Your Day
The fun quotable quotes below were e-mailed to me by Forum member Ben Sanchez last August 13, 2013 with the following note: “Your laugh for today… As the man said, ‘Laugh, and the world laughs with—or at—you.’ Enjoy these in any case.”
In a Podiatrist’s office:
“Time wounds all heels”
***
On a Watch Repair shop window:
“If your clock doesn’t tic - toc to me”
***
At an Optometrist’s Office:
“If you don’t see what you’re looking for,
you’ve come to the right place.”
***
On a Plumber’s truck:
“We repair what your husband fixed”
***
On another Plumber’s truck:
“Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.”
***
At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
“Invite us to your next blowout.”
***
At a Towing company:
“We don’t charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.”
***
On an Electrician’s truck:
“Let us remove your shorts.”
***
In a Non-smoking Area:
“If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.”
***
On a Delivery Room door:
“Push. Push. Push.”
***
At a Car Dealership:
“The best way to get back on your feet—miss a car payment.”
***
Outside a Muffler Shop:
“No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.”
***
In a Veterinarian’s waiting room:
“Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”
***
At the Electric Company
“We would be delighted if you send in your payment.
However, if you don’t, you will be.”
***
In a Restaurant window:
“Don’t stand there and be hungry;
come on in and get fed up.”
***
In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
“Drive carefully. We’ll wait.”
***
At a Propane Filling Station:
“Thank heaven for little grills.”
***
And don’t forget the sign at a
Chicago Radiator Shop:
“Best place in town to take a leak”
***
And this sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:
“Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises”
Go to Wordplay now!
Go to On the Job now
Go to Student and School Life now!
Go to Miscellany now!
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