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LANGUAGE HUMOR AT ITS FINEST
Making yourself more proficient in English need not be a drag. You can actually speed up the learning process and make it fun by generously lacing it with humor—but preferably the best that the English language can offer.
In this new section, apart from giving a fixed slot to our weekly “In a Lighter Vein” pop-out humor piece in the Forum homepage, we have put together the finest of those weekly humor pop-ups since the Forum started. The best of them—collected from various sources on the web and sent in by friends—are all here, posted in the Forum under the following headings: Wordplay, On the Job, Student and School Life, and Miscellany.
So if you missed any of the best of the Forum’s weekly humor pop-ups, you can enjoy and savor them again and again here—and better still, share them with your friends!
Click here to go to the board (requires registration to post)
Some Humorous Unit Conversions
Here is a list of some mildly laughable unit conversions that might actually make sense to the modern common man or woman like you and me:
Ratio of an igloo’s circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi
2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton
1 millionth of a mouthwash: 1 microscope*
Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement: 1 bananosecond
Weight an evangelist carries with God: 1 billigram**
Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour: Knot-furlong
365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it’s less filling: 1 lite year
16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone: 1 Rod Serling
Half of a large intestine: 1 semicolon
1000 aches: 1 megahurtz
Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower
Shortest distance between two jokes: A straight line (think about it a moment)
453.6 graham crackers: 1 pound cake
2000 mockingbirds: two kilomockingbirds (work on it....)
10 cards: 1 decacards
1000 grams of wet socks: 1 literhosen
1 millionth of a fish: 1 microfiche
10 rations: 1 decoration
100 rations: 1 C-ration
2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital: One I.V. League
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*An allusion to the Scope brand of toothpaste in the United States
**An allusion to American evangelical Christian evangelist Billy Graham
— From Lifesmith Classic Fractals - Fun with the English Language
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Go to Miscellany now!
