Jose Carillo's Forum

ESSAYS BY JOSE CARILLO

On this webpage, Jose A. Carillo shares with English users, learners, and teachers a representative selection of his essays on the English language, particularly on its uses and misuses. One essay will be featured every week, and previously featured essays will be archived in the forum.

Achieving greater mastery of the paragraphing craft

By this time most of us should already be familiar with the English paragraph and could whip up one or several of them with great ease. The general concept for the paragraph that we normally follow is, of course, that it’s a collection of sentences that all relate to one main idea or topic and that have unity, coherence, and adequate development. This particularly applies to the typical expository paragraph, which starts with a controlling idea that the exposition then explains, develops, or supports with evidence. As we all know, however, not all paragraphs need a topic sentence; they could simply be indicators of breathing or structural pauses in narratives, dialogues, and explanatory statements that are marked for the purpose by a new, usually indented line (digital word processing, of course, now provides a stylistic device to even get rid of indentions, as in this very exposition that you’re reading now). Either way, paragraphs no doubt serve as functional transitions from one set of thoughts to another, and this is where many people—whether beginning writers or professionals who just want to set their thoughts down clearly and logically—get confused as to precisely how transitions between paragraphs should be done.

In “Making Effective Paragraph Transitions,” a four-part essay that I wrote for my English-usage column in The Manila Times in early 2006, I extensively discussed the various techniques that a writer can use to effectively bridge a succeeding paragraph to the one preceding it—a process that I explained works in much the same way as logically bridging adjoining sentences in an exposition. This week, I am posting Part I and Part II of that essay in the Forum, with Part III and Part IV to follow in next week’s edition. I hope that the discussions will help Forum members and guests gain much greater competence and confidence in the paragraphing craft. (March 25, 2012)

Click on the title below to read the essay.

Part I – Making effective paragraph transitions

Contrary to what some people think, making effective paragraph transitions is really not that difficult. This is because most of the familiar devices we use for linking sentences can serve as transitional devices for paragraphs as well. For instance, such linking words as “besides,” “similarly,” “above all,” and “as a consequence” can effectively bridge a succeeding paragraph to the one preceding it in much the same way that they can bridge adjoining sentences. It’s true that some experienced writers make it part of their craft to minimize the use of these highly visible paragraph “hooks,” but to the beginning writer, they are indispensable for interlocking paragraphs into logical, cohesive, and meaningful compositions.

Choosing a paragraph transition, of course, is largely determined by which of the following major development tasks the new paragraph is intended to do: (1) amplify a point or add to it, (2) establish a causal relationship, (3) establish a temporal relationship, (4) present an example, (5) make an analogy, (6) provide an alternative, or (7) to concede a point. Once a choice is made, it becomes a simple matter to find a suitable paragraph transition from the very large body of conjunctive adverbs and transitional phrases in the English language.

Before discussing the major types of task-oriented paragraph transitions, however, let us put things in better perspective by first looking into two of the most basic forms of paragraph transitions. One way is to simply repeat in the first sentence of a succeeding paragraph the same operative word used in the last sentence of its preceding paragraph, as the word “process” does in this excerpt from William Zinsser’s On Writing Well:

Ideally the relationship between a writer and an editor should be one of negotiation and trust…The process [underscoring mine], in short, is one in which the writer and the editor proceed through the manuscript together, finding for every problem the solution that best serves the finished article.

It’s a process [underscoring mine] that can be done just as well over the phone as in person…”

The other basic paragraph transition form is substituting a synonym or similar words for the chosen operative word. For instance, in the passage above, we can use the similar phrase “this kind of review” instead to begin the second paragraph: “This kind of review can be done just as well over the phone as in person…” This transition may not necessarily be better than the first one, but it has the advantage of giving more variety to the prose.

Now we are ready to discuss the task-oriented paragraph transitions.

Amplifying a point or adding to it. If we need to elaborate on an idea at some length, we can effect the transition to a succeeding paragraph by using whichever of the following transitional words and phrases is appropriate: “also,” “moreover,” “furthermore,” “in addition,” “similarly,” “another reason,” and “likewise.”

Establishing a causal relationship. When we want to discuss the result of something described in a preceding paragraph, we can achieve a logical transition by introducing the succeeding paragraph with any of the following transitional words or phrases: “so,” “as a result,” “therefore,” “consequently,” “then,” and “thus.”

Establishing a temporal relationship. This is the easiest paragraph transition to make. We can make the desired chronological order by simply using the following adverbs or adverbial phrases to introduce the succeeding paragraph: “as soon as,” “before,” “afterward,” “after,” “since,” “recently,” “eventually,” “subsequently,” “at the same time,” “next,” “then,” “until,” “last,” “later,” “earlier,” and “thereafter.”

Presenting an example. For this purpose, we can achieve a quick transition by using the following words or phrases to begin the succeeding paragraph: “for instance,” “for example,” “in particular,” “particularly,” “specifically,” and “to illustrate.”

Making an analogy. By using such words as “also,” “likewise,” “similarly,” “in the same manner,” and “analogously,” we can make an effective transition to a succeeding paragraph that intends to make a comparison with what has been taken up in a preceding paragraph.

Providing an alternative. When alternatives to an idea presented in a preceding paragraph need to be discussed, we can introduce them in a succeeding paragraph by using the following transitional words: “however,” “in contrast,” “although,” “though,” “nevertheless,” “but,” “still,” “yet,” “alternatively,” and “on the other hand.”

Conceding a point. An effective strategy to demolish a contrary view is to quickly concede it in a paragraph introduced by such transitional words as “to be sure,” “no doubt,” “granted that,” “although,” and “it is true.” The rest of the paragraph can then present arguments to discredit the wisdom of that contrary view.

For more complex compositions such as essays and dissertations, however, we will usually need more sophisticated paragraph transitions than the conjunctive adverbs and transitional phrases we have already taken up above. We will discuss them in detail in Part II of this essay. (January 9, 2006)

Part II – Making effective paragraph transitions

Because of its nuts-and-bolts approach to the subject, the preceding column must have given the impression that making paragraph transitions is simply a mechanical procedure, a matter of just tacking on a familiar conjunctive adverb or transitional phrase between adjoining paragraphs. This, as we shall soon see, is not the case at all. It just so happens that conjunctive adverbs and transitional phrases are the best starting point for discussing the subject, for they have a built-in and overt logic in them that can apply to a very wide range of situations. As we progress to the more complex types of compositions, however, we will need much less obtrusive and more elegant ways of bridging paragraphs into cohesive and meaningful compositions.

There are two general categories of transitions for bridging paragraphs: extrinsic or explicit transitions, and intrinsic or implicit transitions. Extrinsic or explicit transitions primarily rely on such familiar introductory words as “however,” “therefore” and “moreover” to show how an idea that will follow is related to the one preceding it. The various conjunctive adverbs and transitional phrases that we already took up in the previous essay belong to this category.
Transitions of this type are very handy and give paragraphs very strong logical interlocks, but when overused, as in legal documents that employ long strings of “whereases,” “provided thats,” “therefores,” and “henceforths” to drive home a point, their prefabricated logic can become very distracting, annoying, and unsightly. This is why it is advisable to minimize their use in formal compositions. For academic essays and dissertations, in particular, the usual suggested limit is no more than one extrinsic transition for every paragraph and no more than three for every page.

Intrinsic or implicit transitions, on the other hand, make use of the natural progression or “flow” of the ideas themselves to link paragraphs logically. Instead of using the usual conjunctive adverbs or transitional phrases, they effect paragraph transitions through a semantic play on key words or ideas in the body of the exposition itself. A sentence that performs an intrinsic paragraph transition usually (1) repeats a key word or phrase used in the preceding paragraph and makes it the takeoff point for the succeeding paragraph, or else (2) uses a synonym or words similar to that key word or phrase to do the transitional job. Part I of this essay already gave examples of this type of paragraph transition. At this point, we will now complete the picture by adding the pronouns “this,” “that,” “these,” “those,” and “it” to the list of basic implicit transitional devices, for these pronouns can often bridge adjoining paragraphs as effectively while minimizing the distracting overuse of the same nouns in the composition.

To better understand how intrinsic paragraph transitions work, let’s assume that we have already written the following first paragraph for an essay:

As a traveler, I am a stickler for schedules and will adamantly resist any change in my itinerary, no matter how attractive that change might be. This was my cardinal rule until I accompanied a longtime friend from Paris on a five-day visit to several vacation resorts in Luzon and the Visayas, and for which Boracay Island was to be our final stop. At the last minute, however, on her insistence and egged on by our tour guide, I reluctantly broke my own rule and agreed to join her on an unplanned trip to Palawan.

Now how do we make an intrinsic transition to the next paragraph of this essay?

The task, of course, basically involves constructing an introductory sentence for that paragraph. We will now look into the various intrinsic transition strategies for doing this, from the simplest to the more complex ones.

Strategy 1: Use a summary word for an operative idea used in the last sentence of the preceding paragraph:

As a traveler, I am a stickler for schedules and will adamantly resist any change in my itinerary, no matter how attractive that change might be. This was my cardinal rule until I accompanied a longtime friend from Paris on a five-day visit to several vacation resorts in Luzon and the Visayas, and for which Boracay Island was to be our final stop. At the last minute, however, on her insistence and egged on by our tour guide, I reluctantly broke my own rule and agreed to join her on an unplanned trip to Palawan.

The idea was at first totally out of the question to me. I was such in a hurry to get back to Manila because of an important prior engagement…

Strategy 2: Use the pronoun “this” for an operative idea in the last sentence of the preceding paragraph:

As a traveler, I am a stickler for schedules and will adamantly resist any change in my itinerary, no matter how attractive that change might be. This was my cardinal rule until I accompanied a longtime friend from Paris on a five-day visit to several vacation resorts in Luzon and the Visayas, and for which Boracay Island was to be our final stop. At the last minute, however, on her insistence and egged on by our tour guide, I reluctantly broke my own rule and agreed to join her on an unplanned trip to Palawan.

This was actually not a very easy decision to make. I had to be in Manila later that week for a business meeting…

Strategy 3: Use the pronoun “that” for an operative idea in the last sentence of the preceding paragraph:

As a traveler, I am a stickler for schedules and will adamantly resist any change in my itinerary, no matter how attractive that change might be. This was my cardinal rule until I accompanied a longtime friend from Paris on a five-day visit to several vacation resorts in Luzon and the Visayas, and for which Boracay Island was to be our final stop. At the last minute, however, on her insistence and egged on by our tour guide, I reluctantly broke my own rule and agreed to join her on an unplanned trip to Palawan.

That proved to be the most memorable part of our tour. Despite my misgivings…

Strategy 4: Use a more emphatic transition by using “that” to intensify an operative word or idea used in the preceding paragraph:

As a traveler, I am a stickler for schedules and will adamantly resist any change in my itinerary, no matter how attractive that change might be. This was my cardinal rule until I accompanied a longtime friend from Paris on a five-day visit to several vacation resorts in Luzon and the Visayas, and for which Boracay Island was to be our final stop. At the last minute, however, on her insistence and egged on by our tour guide, I reluctantly broke my own rule and agreed to join her on an unplanned trip to Palawan.

That decision had very serious and far-reaching consequences for me. I missed an important meeting in Manila and lost a major account…

We will explore in Part III and Part IV even more effective strategies for effecting intrinsic paragraph transitions. (January 16, 2006)

In the next Forum edition: Part III and Part IV

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Previously Featured Essay:

Choosing between “among” and “between”

Until my college days, I used to be supremely confident of choosing correctly between the prepositions “between” and “among.” This was because my grade-school grammar teachers had so efficiently drilled into my brain this very simple rule: “Use ‘between’ for two, and use ‘among’ for more than two.” The rule worked very well indeed for sentence constructions involving twosomes, like “The bond between Eduardo and Alberto is very strong,” and for those involving threesomes or more, like “Choosing from among three or five job applicants is easy.” I’d hardly bat an eyelash when making the choice.

But there finally came a time when I began to have my doubts. Using “between” rarely gave me problems, but there were far too many situations when using “among” for threesomes or more simply didn’t seem right. Sentences like the following particularly baffled me: “The chiffon cake was divided among Ana, Gloria, and Julia.” “The stewardess had mud among her fingers.” “The rich matron must have dropped her wallet somewhere among the supermarket, the street, and the parking lot.” In all three cases, “among” seemed to me a grammatical misfit and the preposition “between” a more natural choice.

As things turned out, my gut feel was right. Years later, when I finally put my mind to resolving my doubts, I discovered that contrary to what many of us had been taught, the idiomatically correct way to say those sentences is as follows: “The chiffon cake was divided between Ana, Gloria, and Julia.” “The stewardess had mud between her fingers.” “The rich matron must have dropped her handbag somewhere between the supermarket, the street, and the parking lot.” I also found several other wrinkles to the “between”/“among” rule that I hardly knew about.

It’s well settled among English-language authorities, of course, that “between” is the only choice when exactly two entities are specified: “This is a private matter between you and me.” “The hostilities between Israel and the Hezbollah have escalated into open warfare.” However, we enter a gray area when more than two entities are involved or when the number of entities is unspecified. In such cases, the choice between “between” and “among” will actually depend on what we intend to say.

Here’s what The American Heritage Book of English Usage prescribes for those situations:

(1) Use “between” when the entities are considered as distinct individuals: “The Black Hawk landed between the tenement houses.” The helicopter is assumed not to have landed on any of the individual houses but anywhere between them.

(2) Use “among” when the entities are considered as a mass or collectivity: “The Black Hawk landed among the tenement houses.” The helicopter is assumed to have landed in the general location of the houses, and the possibility is left open that it could have landed on one of those houses.

“Between” is therefore used when the entities are seen as determining the limits or endpoints of a range, “among” when indicating inclusion in a group.

The Merriam-Webster’s 11th Collegiate Dictionary emphasizes that “between” is particularly appropriate for denoting a one-to-one relationship, regardless of the number of items involved. It says that “between” is called for in the following situations:

(1) When the number is unspecified: “There should be close coordination between line departments.”

(2) When more than two are enumerated: “This is between you and me and the walls of this room.”

(3) Even when only one item is mentioned but repetition is implied: “The motorist stopped between every intersection to make a cellular phone call.”

Both American Heritage and Merriam-Webster’s 11th consider “among” more appropriate when the emphasis is on distribution or inclusion in a group rather than on individual relationships: “The restiveness among the youth has lately become a serious problem in France.” “Dylan Thomas is among the most celebrated of modern poets in English.”

I trust that this discussion has sufficiently clarified the proper usage of “between” and “among.” (July 7, 2006)

From the weekly column “English Plain and Simple” by Jose A. Carillo in The Manila Times, July 7, 2006 issue © 2010 by The Manila Times. All rights reserved.

MORE READINGS ON “BETWEEN,” “AMONG” USAGE:
A recurrent misuse of “between”
My hunch was right about the usage of “between” and “among”

MY ANALYSIS OF THE ITEMS IN THE “AMONG”/“BETWEEN” TEST:

1. “Division of property among heirs not to exceed 20 years

The use of “among” in the above headline is grammatically iffy. That headline should read as “Division of property between heirs not to exceed 20 years,” in the same way that “between” was used in the sentence  “The chiffon cake was divided between Ana, Gloria, and Julia” in my essay above.

2. “Connivance continues between smugglers, Customs personnel

The headline above should use “among” instead of “between,” and should thus read as follows: “Connivance continues among smugglers, Customs personnel.” The rule that applies here is this: Use “among” when the entities are considered as a mass or collectivity, as in the sentence “The Black Hawk landed among the tenement houses” cited in my essay above.

3. “Highway Between Bataan, Pampanga Widened

The use of “between” by the headline above is grammatically wrong. Since “between” here is being used in the sense of the “space or interval that separates” Bataan and Pampanga, that headline gives the wrong impression that the highway is outside both of the two provinces; in short, it’s in nowhere land. Obviously, “among” won’t work in that headline either. The correct preposition is “through” in the sense of “passage from one end or boundary to another,” so that headline should read as follows: “Highway Through Bataan, Pampanga Widened.”

4. “The recent friendly football match between the Philippine team, the Azkals, and Malaysia's champion football team on Feb. 29 was supposed to bring camaraderie between the two nations and instill a sense of healthy competition and pride in Filipinos.” - Sexual harassment complaint filed vs. Azkals members

The lead sentence above used “between” correctly in both cases but suffers from a confusing grammatical glitch the first time around. This is because the serial construction “the Philippine team, the Azkals, and Malaysia's champion football team” gives the wrong impression that three teams—not two—competed in the football match, namely “the Philippine team,” “the Azkals,” and “Malaysia’s champion football team.” Of course, “the Philippine team” and “the Azkals” are in reality one and the same team.

Here’s a quick fix for that grammatical glitch: “The recent friendly football match between the Azkals of the Philippines and Malaysia's champion football team on Feb. 29 was supposed to bring camaraderie between the two nations and instill a sense of healthy competition and pride in Filipinos.”

5. “President Aquino urged Chief Justice Renato Corona yesterday to explain the apparent discrepancies between his statement of assets, liabilities and net worth (SALN) and his declared properties.” - Noy urges Corona to explain discrepancies between SALN, properties

The use of “between” is correct in the headline above but due to the serial enumeration that follows it (“his statement of assets, liabilities and net worth (SALN)”), it becomes very fuzzy indeed as to where the alleged discrepancies are to be found—whether among the items in the SALN itself or among the declared properties.

The confusion could have been cleared up had the paper’s editors positioned the phrase “his declared properties” ahead of the items in the SALN, as follows:

“President Aquino urged Chief Justice Renato Corona yesterday to explain the apparent discrepancies between his declared properties and his statement of assets, liabilities and net worth (SALN).

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