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LANGUAGE HUMOR AT ITS FINEST
Making yourself more proficient in English need not be a drag. You can actually speed up the learning process and make it fun by generously lacing it with humor—but preferably the best that the English language can offer.
In this new section, apart from giving a fixed slot to our weekly “In a Lighter Vein” pop-out humor piece in the Forum homepage, we have put together the finest of those weekly humor pop-ups since the Forum started. The best of them—collected from various sources on the web and sent in by friends—are all here, posted in the Forum under the following headings: Wordplay, On the Job, Student and School Life, and Miscellany.
So if you missed any of the best of the Forum’s weekly humor pop-ups, you can enjoy and savor them again and again here—and better still, share them with your friends!
Click here to go to the board (requires registration to post)
Romantic Rhymes with Unromantic Twists
The verses below were entries to a competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line but least romantic second line:
“Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
but I only slept with you because I was pissed.”
***
“I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother.”
***
“Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.”
***
“Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face.”
***
“Kind, intelligent, loving and hot
This describes everything you are not.”
***
“I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don’t take that paper bag off of your face.”
***
“I love your smile, your face, and your eyes—
Damn, I’m good at telling lies!”
***
“My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.”
***
“I see your face when I am dreaming
That’s why I always wake up screaming.”
***
“My love you take my breath away
What have you stepped in to smell this way.”
***
“My feelings for you no words can tell
Except for maybe ‘Go to hell!’”
***
“What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.”
—From Harris Creative Group: Assorted Language Humor
Go to Wordplay now!
Go to On the Job now
Go to Student and School Life now!
Go to Miscellany now!
