LANGUAGE HUMOR AT ITS FINEST
Making yourself more proficient in English need not be a drag. You can actually speed up the learning process and make it fun by generously lacing it with humor—but preferably the best that the English language can offer.
In this new section, apart from giving a fixed slot to our weekly “In a Lighter Vein” pop-out humor piece in the Forum homepage, we have put together the finest of those weekly humor pop-ups since the Forum started. The best of them—collected from various sources on the web and sent in by friends—are all here, posted in the Forum under the following headings: Wordplay, On the Job, Student and School Life, and Miscellany.
So if you missed any of the best of the Forum’s weekly humor pop-ups, you can enjoy and savor them again and again here—and better still, share them with your friends!
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Some Amusing One-Liners
Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
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On the other hand, you have different fingers.
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I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
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I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
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Honk if you love peace and quiet.
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I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
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I intend to live forever—so far so good.
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Borrow money from a pessimist—they don’t expect it back.
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If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
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A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
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Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
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For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
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Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
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Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.
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To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
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The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
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The sooner you fall behind the more time you’ll have to catch up.
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Change is inevitable except from vending machines.
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If a job is worth doing, then get someone in to do it properly.
Source: Matt’s Humor: Word Play
—As posted in “Word Puzzlers, Ponderers, Poetry, Peculiar and Playful Prose”
Go to Wordplay now!
Go to On the Job now
Go to Student and School Life now!
Go to Miscellany now!