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LANGUAGE HUMOR AT ITS FINEST
Making yourself more proficient in English need not be a drag. You can actually speed up the learning process and make it fun by generously lacing it with humor—but preferably the best that the English language can offer.
In this new section, apart from giving a fixed slot to our weekly “In a Lighter Vein” pop-out humor piece in the Forum homepage, we have put together the finest of those weekly humor pop-ups since the Forum started. The best of them—collected from various sources on the web and sent in by friends—are all here, posted in the Forum under the following headings: Wordplay, On the Job, Student and School Life, and Miscellany.
So if you missed any of the best of the Forum’s weekly humor pop-ups, you can enjoy and savor them again and again here—and better still, share them with your friends!
Click here to go to the board (requires registration to post)
Why men die first
Why men die first is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries, but now we know:
If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you’re a male chauvinist; if you stay home and do the housework, you’re a pansy.
If you work too hard, there’s never any time for her; if you don’t work enough, you’re a good-for-nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is exploitation; if you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your lazy behind and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favoritism; if she gets a job ahead of you, it’s equal opportunity.
If you mention how nice she looks, it’s sexual harassment; if you keep quiet it’s male indifference.
If you cry, you’re a wimp; if you don’t, you’re an insensitive bastard.
If you make a decision without consulting her, you’re a chauvinist; if she makes a decision without consulting you, she’s a liberated woman.
If you ask her to do something she doesn’t enjoy, that’s domination; if she asks you, it’s a favor.
If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear, you’re a pervert; if you don’t, you’re gay.
If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, you’re sexist; if you don’t, you’re unromantic.
If you try to keep yourself in shape, you’re vain; if you don’t, you’re a slob.
If you buy her flowers, you’re after something; if you don’t, you’re not thoughtful.
If you’re proud of your achievements, you’re full of yourself; if you aren’t you’re not ambitious.
If she has a headache, she’s tired; if you have a headache, you don’t love her anymore.
Men die first because they want to.
Go to Wordplay now!
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Go to Student and School Life now!
Go to Miscellany now!
