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LANGUAGE HUMOR AT ITS FINEST
Making yourself more proficient in English need not be a drag. You can actually speed up the learning process and make it fun by generously lacing it with humor—but preferably the best that the English language can offer.
In this new section, apart from giving a fixed slot to our weekly “In a Lighter Vein” pop-out humor piece in the Forum homepage, we have put together the finest of those weekly humor pop-ups since the Forum started. The best of them—collected from various sources on the web and sent in by friends—are all here, posted in the Forum under the following headings: Wordplay, On the Job, Student and School Life, and Miscellany.
So if you missed any of the best of the Forum’s weekly humor pop-ups, you can enjoy and savor them again and again here—and better still, share them with your friends!
Click here to go to the board (requires registration to post)
Things You Don’t Want to Hear During Surgery
“Better save that. We’ll need it for the autopsy.”
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“Someone call the janitor—we’re going to need a mop!”
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“Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness!”
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“Bo Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!”
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“Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what’s that?”
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“Hand me that...uh...that uh...thingie.”
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“Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.”
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“Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500 ml of this stuff before?”
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“Darn, there go the lights again....”
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“Ya know, there’s big money in kidneys. Heck, the guy’s got two of ’em."
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“Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!”
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“Could you stop that thing from beating? It’s throwing off my concentration.”
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“What’s this doing here?”
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“That's cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?”
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“I wish I hadn’t forgotten my glasses.”
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“Well, folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.”
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“Sterile, shcmerile. The floor’s clean, right?”
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“What do you mean, he wasn’t in for a sex change?”
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“Anyone see where I left that scalpel?”
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“And now we remove the subject’s brain and place it in the body of the ape.”
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“Ok. Now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.”
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“This patient has already had some kids, right?”
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“Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?”
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“Don’t worry. I think this is sharp enough.”
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“FIRE! FIRE! Everybody get out NOW!”
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“Darn! Page 47 of the manual is missing!”
—Brain Candy Jokes & Humor Collection
Go to Wordplay now!
Go to On the Job now
Go to Student and School Life now!
Go to Miscellany now!
