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LANGUAGE HUMOR AT ITS FINEST
Making yourself more proficient in English need not be a drag. You can actually speed up the learning process and make it fun by generously lacing it with humor—but preferably the best that the English language can offer.
In this new section, apart from giving a fixed slot to our weekly “In a Lighter Vein” pop-out humor piece in the Forum homepage, we have put together the finest of those weekly humor pop-ups since the Forum started. The best of them—collected from various sources on the web and sent in by friends—are all here, posted in the Forum under the following headings: Wordplay, On the Job, Student and School Life, and Miscellany.
So if you missed any of the best of the Forum’s weekly humor pop-ups, you can enjoy and savor them again and again here—and better still, share them with your friends!
Click here to go to the board (requires registration to post)
Some Business Rules
I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either.
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I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
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Tell me what you need, and I’ll tell you how to get along without it.
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Accept that some days you are the pigeon and most days the statue.
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Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he or she isn’t there the first time, chances are you won’t be needing him or her again.
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I don’t have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.
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Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the f_ _ _ is the ceiling?
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My reality check bounced.
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On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
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I don’t suffer from stress. I am a carrier.
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You are slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
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Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, because you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
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Everyone is someone else’s weirdo.
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Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.
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A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.
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Don’t be irreplaceable—if you can’t be replaced, you won’t be promoted.
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After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
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The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
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You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
—Submitted by Jena M Graham to lol-jokes.com
Go to Wordplay now!
Go to On the Job now
Go to Student and School Life now!
Go to Miscellany now!
