Jose Carillo's Forum

LANGUAGE HUMOR AT ITS FINEST

Making yourself more proficient in English need not be a drag. You can actually speed up the learning process and make it fun by generously lacing it with humor—but preferably the best that the English language can offer.

In this new section, apart from giving a fixed slot to our weekly “In a Lighter Vein” pop-out humor piece in the Forum homepage, we have put together the finest of those weekly humor pop-ups since the Forum started. The best of them—collected from various sources on the web and sent in by friends—are all here, posted in the Forum under the following headings: Wordplay, On the Job, Student and School Life, and Miscellany.

So if you missed any of the best of the Forum’s weekly humor pop-ups, you can enjoy and savor them again and again here—and better still, share them with your friends!

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Puns about Education (University Level)

1. There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn’t control his pupils.
             
2. To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
             
3. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
             
4. He said I was average - but he was just being mean.
             
5. Math teachers have lots of problems.
             
6. It wasn’t school John disliked; it was just the principal of it.
             
7. He wears glasses during math because it improves division.
             
8. When the electricity went off during a storm at a school the students were de-lighted.
             
9. What did the triangle say to the circle? You’re so pointless.
             
10. Skipping school to bungee jump will get you suspended.

11. I’m bad at math, so the equation 2n+2n is 4n to me.

12. When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

13. Decimals have a point.

14. We’ll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.

15. Studying fungus is a way to mold young minds.

16. Little Jimmy told his teacher he never saw a humming bird but he had watched a spelling bee.

17. Mathematics teachers call retirement “the aftermath.”

18. Old math teachers never die, they just become irrational.

19. Teachers who take class attendance are absent-minded.

20. I always prayed before my trigonometry tests. I was hoping for a sine from above.

21. A small boy went to the counter to pay for his lunch but he was a little short.

22. He became a math teacher due to some prime factors.

23. Sometimes a pencil sharpener is needed in order to make a good point.

24. On the shelf there are ten math books, five geography books, and the rest is history.

25. The girls swim team has a new coach who acts like she knows everything. Her name is Claire Buoyant.

26. His qualifications as a math teacher didn’t add up.

27. The answers for the geology test were written in stone.

28. The arrogant math teacher finally ate a slice of humble pi.

29. The man who bought too much graphing paper didn't know where to draw the line.

30. A student limped into class with a lame excuse.

31. The science teachers broke up because there was no chemistry between them.

32. The calculus teacher tried to keep his students on task, but the class discussion kept going off on tangents.

33. Our social studies teacher says that her globe means the world to her.

34. The English Teacher felt odd after being fired: it was post-grammatic stress disorder.

35. His penmanship is certainly nothing to write home about.

36. Eating too many snacks when studying for a test is called cramming.

37. Old school principals never die, they just lose their faculties.

38. The teacher asked a question and the students were all up in arms.

39. When she made Mario Puzo’s books required reading for her class, she made him an author they couldn’t refuse.

40. Teaching history is old news.

41. I met a math professor who has 12 children—she really knows how to multiply.

42. The number 10210 is too intense.

43. Two friends took ropes to school so that they could skip out.

44. Old teachers never die; they just lose their class.

45. The students on the top floor of the school were upper class.

46. Math class is full of drama. There are so many problems to work out.

47. A teacher used his index finger to ask a lot of pointed questions.

48. An English teacher, who was dreadfully afraid of insects, while on a picnic screamed like a little girl when he saw there was an antonym.

49. Retired teachers are classless.

50. I need to do my philosophy homework but I just Kant.

51. A bartender was summoned to court with a subpoena colada.

52. English teachers can keep a class Spell bound.

53. Why did the Latin student end up being a bachelor? Because every time he was asked to conjugate, he declined.

54. The school had a door made of iron. That was why it was called the school of hard knocks.

55. Some students concentrate lesson history and moron themselves.

56. The math teacher was an exponent of his own powers.

57. A not-very-good art teacher was good only at drawing blank faces.

58. A teacher having a tough time longs for the end of the school daze.

59. When you use glue in class it paste to be careful.

60. Throwing trash on the street is litter-ly illegal.

61. Those with scissors shouldn’t use cutting words.

62. I stink at fractions. I’m not half as good as the class.

63. A lawyer was defending a math teacher. He had to sum up.

64. He was late for school until a spider dropped on his ankle and then he decided to shake a leg.

65. Finding area is an integral part of calculus.

66. He dressed poorly in grade eight. The next year he dressed to the nines.

67. The first order of priority in hiring math majors is get them to sine on the dotted line.

68. Using fingers to count is a digit-al calculator.

69. Teachers’ hands are usually chalk-full.

70. The sign language teacher was very good with her hands.

71. The boy’s guitar teacher helped him pick up his skills.

72. He asked his teacher if rust came from rot iron.

73. I raised my intelligence using my cranium.

From PunoftheDay.com

Go to Wordplay now!
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Go to Student and School Life now!
Go to Miscellany now!

 

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