Jose Carillo's English Forum - Language Humor at Its Finest

LANGUAGE HUMOR AT ITS FINEST

Making yourself more proficient in English need not be a drag. You can actually speed up the learning process and make it fun by generously lacing it with humor—but preferably the best that the English language can offer.

In this new section, apart from giving a fixed slot to our weekly “In a Lighter Vein” pop-out humor piece in the Forum homepage, we have put together the finest of those weekly humor pop-ups since the Forum started. The best of them—collected from various sources on the web and sent in by friends—are all here, posted in the Forum under the following headings: Wordplay, On the Job, Student and School Life, and Miscellany.

So if you missed any of the best of the Forum’s weekly humor pop-ups, you can enjoy and savor them again and again here—and better still, share them with your friends!

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Funny signs advertising real-world businesses

Sign on an electrician's truck: Let us remove your shorts.

Maternity Clothes Shop: We are open on labor day.

Non-smoking area: If we see you smoking we will assume you on fire and take
appropriate action.

On a Maternity Room Door: Push, Push, Push

On a Front Door: Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog.

Optometrist's Office: If you don’t see what you're looking for, you’ve come to the
right place.

Scientist's Door: Gone Fission

Taxidermist Window: We really know our stuff.

Podiatrist's Window: Time wounds all heels.

Butcher's window: Let me meat your needs.

Used Car Lot: Second Hand cars in first crash condition

Sign on Fence: Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive.

Car Dealership: The best way to get back on your feet—miss a car payment.

Muffler Shop: No appointment necessary. We’ll hear you coming.

Hotel: “Help!” We need inn-experienced people.

Butcher's Window: Pleased to meat you.

Auto Body Shop: May we have the next dents?

Veterinarians Waiting Room: Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!

The Electric Company: We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if
you don’t, you will be.

Beauty Shop: Dye now!

Garbage Truck: We’ve got what it takes to take what you’ve got.

Computer Store: Out for a quick byte

Diner Window: Don’t stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up.

Bowling Alley: Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop.

Cafeteria: Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place
they want.

Music Library: Bach in a minuet.

Funeral Home: Drive carefully, we'll wait.

—Tina’s Humor Archives

Go to Wordplay now!
Go to On the Job now
Go to Student and School Life now!
Go to Miscellany now!