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LANGUAGE HUMOR AT ITS FINEST
Making yourself more proficient in English need not be a drag. You can actually speed up the learning process and make it fun by generously lacing it with humor—but preferably the best that the English language can offer.
In this new section, apart from giving a fixed slot to our weekly “In a Lighter Vein” pop-out humor piece in the Forum homepage, we have put together the finest of those weekly humor pop-ups since the Forum started. The best of them—collected from various sources on the web and sent in by friends—are all here, posted in the Forum under the following headings: Wordplay, On the Job, Student and School Life, and Miscellany.
So if you missed any of the best of the Forum’s weekly humor pop-ups, you can enjoy and savor them again and again here—and better still, share them with your friends!
Click here to go to the board (requires registration to post)
Memorable Quotes For and About the New Year
“Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.”—Oscar Wilde
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“New Year’s Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.”—James Agate
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“Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man.”—Benjamin Franklin
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“The old year has gone. Let the dead past bury its own dead. The New Year has taken possession of the clock of time. All hail the duties and possibilities of the coming twelve months!”—Edward Payson Powell
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“From New Year’s on the outlook brightens; good humor lost in a mood of failure returns. I resolve to stop complaining.”—Leonard Bernstein
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“Cheers to a New Year and another chance for us to get it right.”—Oprah Winfrey
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“Never tell your resolution beforehand, or it’s twice as onerous a duty.”—John Selden
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“An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.”—Bill Vaughan
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“New Year’s is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions.”—Mark Twain
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“Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God that it can go.”—Brooks Atkinson
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“I’m a little bit older, a little bit wiser, a little bit rounder, but still none the wiser.”—Robert Paul
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“Making resolutions is a cleansing ritual of self assessment and repentance that demands personal honesty and, ultimately, reinforces humility. Breaking them is part of the cycle.”—Eric Zorn
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“A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one Year and out the other.”—Anonymous
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“Happiness is too many things these days for anyone to wish it on anyone lightly. So let's just wish each other a bile-less New Year and leave it at that.”—Judith Crist
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“May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions!”—Joey Adams
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“The object of a New Year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul and a new nose; new feet, a new backbone, new ears, and new eyes. Unless a particular man made New Year resolutions, he would make no resolutions. Unless a man starts afresh about things, he will certainly do nothing effective. Unless a man starts on the strange assumption that he has never existed before, it is quite certain that he will never exist afterwards. Unless a man be born again, he shall by no means enter into the Kingdom of Heaven.”—G. K. Chesterton
—From the quotation collections of About.com and MyFOXla.com
Go to Wordplay now!
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Go to Student and School Life now!
Go to Miscellany now!
