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LANGUAGE HUMOR AT ITS FINEST
Making yourself more proficient in English need not be a drag. You can actually speed up the learning process and make it fun by generously lacing it with humor—but preferably the best that the English language can offer.
In this new section, apart from giving a fixed slot to our weekly “In a Lighter Vein” pop-out humor piece in the Forum homepage, we have put together the finest of those weekly humor pop-ups since the Forum started. The best of them—collected from various sources on the web and sent in by friends—are all here, posted in the Forum under the following headings: Wordplay, On the Job, Student and School Life, and Miscellany.
So if you missed any of the best of the Forum’s weekly humor pop-ups, you can enjoy and savor them again and again here—and better still, share them with your friends!
Click here to go to the board (requires registration to post)
69 Job Description Jokes
A lousy lawyer is always appealing.
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A tall lawyer looks good in briefs.
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A nude model barely makes a living.
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On the job, drillers are boring.
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Every good musician is noteworthy.
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An emotional dermatologist makes rash judgments.
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The dentist and manicurist fought tooth and nail.
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A good teacher has class.
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Editors have no problem making amends.
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Kindergarten teaching is just kidding around.
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A suspicious gardener enjoys a good plot.
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Most psychiatrists should be committed.
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Cops have arresting personalities.
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The professional farmer is outstanding in his field.
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An incompetent chef can dessert his patrons.
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A good cook knows how to dish it out.
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An army cook can make a mess.
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Accountants appreciate a good figure.
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Smart electricians are up on current affairs.
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An enthusiastic archeologist digs her job.
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A mail carrier is a person of letters.
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Taxidermists have lots of stuff.
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A cement worker has concrete ideas.
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Sleeping plumbers have pipe dreams.
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Inventors are patently smart.
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Your dentist knows the drill.
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A good rancher has a herd mentality.
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Gamblers are a dicey lot.
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A photographer’s skill is developing.
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A good artist can draw a crowd.
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A roofer on the job is above it all.
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Usually violinists just string along.
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Lazy bakers loaf on the job.
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New carpenters screw up a lot.
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A blind barber depends upon shear luck.
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A good baseball player is a swinger at home.
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Football coaching is a sideline career.
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Any golfer should be able to tell a good lie.
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A funny butcher enjoys a good rib.
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Experienced typists are key personnel.
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A part-time maestro is a semiconductor.
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A good realtor has lots of promise.
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A cowboy needs a stage coach.
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Most doctors are patient people.
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A competent tailor likes to size up his customers.
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No shoe seller should have a stocking problem.
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The son of the florist is a budding genius.
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Some psychoanalysts give complex advice.
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An evil candle maker does wicked things.
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A successful funeral director is dead serious.
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Undertakers face stiff competition.
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Worried cemetery worker has grave concerns.
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Some truck drivers are semi-professionals.
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Telephone linemen can be poles apart.
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State troopers know just the ticket.
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A ballerina can leap to conclusions.
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Librarians possess novel information.
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Cashiers think change is inevitable.
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An experienced coroner is good at dead reckoning.
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A determined webmaster can find the missing link.
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A state governor prefers capital letters.
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Old cabinet makers enjoy board meetings.
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Fans think pro hockey players walk on water.
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The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
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The taxi driver quit his job because he couldn’t hack it.
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Fishermen have to rely on net income.
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There is no future in being a historian.
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A playwright likes to make a scene.
—From a collection in Jim Wegryn presents
Go to Wordplay now!
Go to On the Job now
Go to Student and School Life now!
Go to Miscellany now!
