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LANGUAGE HUMOR AT ITS FINEST
Making yourself more proficient in English need not be a drag. You can actually speed up the learning process and make it fun by generously lacing it with humor—but preferably the best that the English language can offer.
In this new section, apart from giving a fixed slot to our weekly “In a Lighter Vein” pop-out humor piece in the Forum homepage, we have put together the finest of those weekly humor pop-ups since the Forum started. The best of them—collected from various sources on the web and sent in by friends—are all here, posted in the Forum under the following headings: Wordplay, On the Job, Student and School Life, and Miscellany.
So if you missed any of the best of the Forum’s weekly humor pop-ups, you can enjoy and savor them again and again here—and better still, share them with your friends!
Click here to go to the board (requires registration to post)
A Cavalcade of Amusing English Signages in Foreign Countries
Here are some authentic commercial signboards spotted by foreign visitors in various countries:
In a Romanian elevator: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
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In a French hotel: Please leave your values at the front desk.
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In a Greek hotel: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 a.m. daily.
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In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
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In a Russian hotel: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
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In a Hong Kong supermarket: For your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service.
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In a South African shop: We will execute customers in strict rotation.
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In a Kenyan newspaper: A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.
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In a Swiss hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby by used for this purpose.
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At an Indian shop: Froot Stal—froot chooce sold here.
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At a Hong Kong dentist’s: Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
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At a Czech tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city tours. We guarantee no miscarriages.
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Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride on your own ass?
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On a battery in India: Made by Japan in India.
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On a Japanese detour sign: Stop. Drive sideways.
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At a Danish travel agency: We take your bags and send them in all directions.
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In Norway: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
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At an Italian doctor’s: Specialist in women and other diseases.
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At a Mexican hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
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In a Japanese car hire information brochure: When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.
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In a Spanish shop: English well talking.
Also: Here speeching American.
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An ad for laundry: We don’t tear your clothes with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
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On an Indian building: National Institute for Stuttering Management and Behaviour Technology.
—From the jokes collection of FortuneCity.com
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