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LANGUAGE HUMOR AT ITS FINEST
Making yourself more proficient in English need not be a drag. You can actually speed up the learning process and make it fun by generously lacing it with humor—but preferably the best that the English language can offer.
In this new section, apart from giving a fixed slot to our weekly “In a Lighter Vein” pop-out humor piece in the Forum homepage, we have put together the finest of those weekly humor pop-ups since the Forum started. The best of them—collected from various sources on the web and sent in by friends—are all here, posted in the Forum under the following headings: Wordplay, On the Job, Student and School Life, and Miscellany.
So if you missed any of the best of the Forum’s weekly humor pop-ups, you can enjoy and savor them again and again here—and better still, share them with your friends!
Click here to go to the board (requires registration to post)
18 Genuine Entries Taken from the Medical Records
By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.
***
On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared.
***
She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
***
The patient has been depressed ever since she began to see me in 1983.
***
Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing.
***
Discharge status: alive but without permission.
***
The patient refused an autopsy.
***
The patient has no past history of suicides.
***
The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.
***
The patient’s past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
***
She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.
***
The patient experienced sudden onset of severe shortness of breath with a picture of acute pulmonary edema at home while having sex that gradually deteriorated in the emergency room.
***
The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
***
Since she can’t get pregnant with her husband, so I thought you would like to work her up.
***
She is numb from her toes down.
***
While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
***
The skin was moist and dry.
***
When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.
—From a collection in Just Humour Jokes
Go to Wordplay now!
Go to On the Job now
Go to Student and School Life now!
Go to Miscellany now!
