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LANGUAGE HUMOR AT ITS FINEST
Making yourself more proficient in English need not be a drag. You can actually speed up the learning process and make it fun by generously lacing it with humor—but preferably the best that the English language can offer.
In this new section, apart from giving a fixed slot to our weekly “In a Lighter Vein” pop-out humor piece in the Forum homepage, we have put together the finest of those weekly humor pop-ups since the Forum started. The best of them—collected from various sources on the web and sent in by friends—are all here, posted in the Forum under the following headings: Wordplay, On the Job, Student and School Life, and Miscellany.
So if you missed any of the best of the Forum’s weekly humor pop-ups, you can enjoy and savor them again and again here—and better still, share them with your friends!
Click here to go to the board (requires registration to post)
Top Ten Murphy’s Laws
1. If something can go wrong, it will.
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2. If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway.
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3. Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
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4. Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value.
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5. The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
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6. The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.
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7. Technology is dominated by those who manage what they do not understand.
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8. The opulence of the front office decor varies inversely with the fundamental solvency of the
firm.
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9. Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he’ll have to touch to be sure.
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10. The first myth of management is that it exists.
Eight Corollaries to Murphy’s Laws
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don’t have film.
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He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
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Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.
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Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
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The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.
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Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
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Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.
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Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
—From the You-Can-Be-Funny.com website
Go to Wordplay now!
Go to On the Job now
Go to Student and School Life now!
Go to Miscellany now!
