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LANGUAGE HUMOR AT ITS FINEST
Making yourself more proficient in English need not be a drag. You can actually speed up the learning process and make it fun by generously lacing it with humor—but preferably the best that the English language can offer.
In this new section, apart from giving a fixed slot to our weekly “In a Lighter Vein” pop-out humor piece in the Forum homepage, we have put together the finest of those weekly humor pop-ups since the Forum started. The best of them—collected from various sources on the web and sent in by friends—are all here, posted in the Forum under the following headings: Wordplay, On the Job, Student and School Life, and Miscellany.
So if you missed any of the best of the Forum’s weekly humor pop-ups, you can enjoy and savor them again and again here—and better still, share them with your friends!
Click here to go to the board (requires registration to post)
40 Puns on the Job
1. “Pencils could be made with erasers at both ends, but what would be the point?” - Kap'n Klystron - Nanuet, NY
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2. “Every calendar’s days are numbered.”
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3. “The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.”
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4. “He had a photographic memory that was never developed.”
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5. “An electrician is a bright spark who knows what's watt.” - Scrabble817 - Woking, England
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6. “I really do have a photographic memory—I just haven’t developed it yet.”
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7. “The man who worked at the watch factory was very funny. He stood about all day making faces.” - Jossy - Australia
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8. “If you give some managers an inch they think they’re a ruler.”
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9. “Two pencils decided to have a race. The outcome was a draw.” - Plasmapitch
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10. “After working for 24 hours straight he called it a day.”
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11. “He bent over to pick up a sieve and strained himself.”
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12. “If ionized fertilizer is delivered after business hours, the nitrate will be charged.” - Kap'n Klystron - Nanuet, NY
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13. “The inept mathematician couldn’t count on his friends.”
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14. “In the office she was frantically looking for her false nails, only to discover she had filed them away.” - egostate - Derby,UK
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15. “The plumber had to quit his job because it was too much of a drain.” - B-ron - Edmonton
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16. “A guy became so good with a chainsaw that he was promoted to branch manager.”
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17. “The telegraph operator who accidentally sent the same message twice was remorseful. - For Better or Wurst - Toledo, Ohio
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18. “An office with many people and few electrical outlets could be in for a power struggle.”
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19. “The mime wanted to say something, but he wasn’t aloud.”
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20. “While training to work at Coca Cola he was given a pop quiz.”
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21. “The optician fell into the lens grinding machine and made a spectacle of himself.”
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22. “The fence builders were upset with their working conditions, so they started to picket. - tim lobovitch
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23. “I’ve tried numerous times to apply myself, but nothing seems to stick.” - Jim - New York
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24. “How could I trust the ceiling fan installer when I knew he was always screwing up?”
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25. “No one ever wants to babysit the naughty atom, they always have to keep an ion it. - Ninja Stealth
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26. “Swimming instructors are always getting immersed in their work.”
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27. “It’s true that the earth rotates, but scientists are always putting their own spin on it.”
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28. “The untruthful deli clerk was full of baloney.” - Yehuda Hamer
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29. “Small people are in short supply.”
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30. “Meetings - where we take minutes and waste hours.”
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31. “Working as an elevator operator has its ups and downs.”
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32. “At some executive meetings there is a chairman of the bored.”
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33. “The personal trainer quit his job because it wasn't working out.”
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34. “He rose through the ranks of the International Corn Growers association, eventually becoming a kernel.” - kaatgp - FL
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35. “I do a lot of spreadsheets in the office so you can say I’m excelling at work.” - The Big Pun - Nairobi, Kenya
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36. “He who makes false teeth is an indentured laborer.”
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37. “In the air duct installers union they have lots of opportunity to vent.”
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38. “When the mayor wanted to slash the budget he turned to a fund razor.”
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39. “Some people find fire drills quite Alarming.”
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40. “At a job interview, I decided to lie and say I had experience as an illusionist and as a window cleaner. They saw right through me.” - ConeArtist - London
—From the Pun of the Day website
Go to Wordplay now!
Go to On the Job now
Go to Student and School Life now!
Go to Miscellany now!
