LANGUAGE HUMOR AT ITS FINEST

59-Odd Questions To Ask About Employment Success

1.   Why is it we never hear of a self-made woman? (Contributed by Don F.)

2.   Is Ambition just a poor excuse for not having enough sense to take a break? (Contributed by Don F.)

3.   Does discrimination against women in terms of pay propel them into entrepreneurship? (Contributed by Success Mag)

4.   If a successful man is one who can earn more money than his wife can possibly spend is a successful woman one who can find that man? (Contributed by Nirav)

5.   Why is it that any time you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong? (Contributed by Al B.)

6.   It is good to have an end to journey towards but isn’t it always the journey that counts in the end? (Contributed by Don F.)

7.   Have you noticed that Triumph is just umph added to try? (Contributed by George Hoffman)

8.   Why is it that even a mosquito doesn’t get a slap on the back until it starts work? (Contributed by Letitia Yao)

9.   Do self-made (wo)men relieve God of a lot of blame and responsibility? (Contributed by Jim Adams)

10.   Why is the road to success always under construction? (Contributed by Giggles)

11.   Did you ever consider that only dead fish go with the flow? (Contributed by Keith Sullivan)

12.   To be a successful businessman don’t you only need one thing? A successful business. (Contributed by Ha!)

13.   If at first you don’t succeed does it depress you that no one is surprised? (Contributed by Jim Lockwood)

14.   Isn’t it hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere? (Contributed by Terry Galan)

15.   Motivational experts urge employees to “work smarter” and to “put everything they have” into their work but when cooks do that the result is hash, isn’t it? (Contributed by Jim Moore Jr.)

16.   Why do we always assume the best things are still to come? (Contributed by Jeremy Barrow)

17.   Have you noticed that the only time success comes before work is in the dictionary? (Contributed by Dean M.)

18.   What if when you reach the top of the ladder of success you find that it was leaning against the wrong wall? (Contributed by Keith Sullivan)

19.   Is originality simply the art of concealing your source? (Contributed by Franklin Jones)

20.   They say that behind every successful man there stands a woman. Could it be that in front of that woman stands a man who keeps getting in her way? (Contributed by The Born Loser)

21.   Behind every successful man isn’t there an amazed woman? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)

22.   Does it hurt to be on the cutting edge? (Contributed by NobodyNParticular)

23.   Sure, doing a job right the first time gets the job done, but doesn’t doing the job wrong fourteen times give you job security? (Contributed by Les Pourciau)

24.   Doesn’t good judgment come from experience? But doesn’t experience come from a lot of bad judgment? (Contributed by JoLene)

25.   What’s behind every successful woman? (Contributed by Nabby)

26.   Why are people upset when they get a kick in the butt? Doesn’t that mean that they’re out in front of the other guy? Shouldn’t they be happier that they are ahead? (Contributed by Jim Moore Jr.)

27.   They say it matters not whether you win or lose. That’s right, isn’t it? After all, what really matters is whether I win or lose, right? (Contributed by Darrin Weinberg)

28.   What is the point of perfection? Once you’re perfect then there won’t be anything left for you to do, will there? (Contributed by Nick Brush)

29.   Isn’t the greatest success to be successful at self-acceptance? (Contributed by Ben Sweet)

30.   Shouldn’t you always remember the 6 Ps? Poor Prior Planning Produces Poor Performance. (Contributed by Jim Jackson)

31.   Isn’t it true that the difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra? (Contributed by TJ)

32.   Don’t they really mean that “It’s not whether you win or lose, but it’s how you place the blame”? (Contributed by FortOgden)

33.   Isn’t the only thing standing between a man and what he wants from life, often merely the will to try it and the faith to believe that it is possible? (Contributed by R.M. DeVos)

34.   Why do people think success is how high and fast you reach the top? Isn’t it really how high and fast you bounce back when you hit the bottom? (Contributed by skyedrums)

35.   Doesn’t high achievement always take place in a framework of high expectation? (Contributed by Jack Kinder)

36.   Doesn’t the world of tomorrow belong to the people who have the visions today? (Contributed by Robert Schuller)

37.   Aren’t all limitations self-imposed? (Contributed by Ernest)

38.   Won’t your future be exactly what you THINK to make of it? And won’t new thoughts guide you to new experiences? (Contributed by Dr. Forrest C. Shaklee)

39.   Didn’t everyone who got where they are begin where they were? (Contributed by Richard Evans)

40.   How come the only impact some people will ever make during their lives is the dent on your car door? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)

41.   Why does everyone think there is a secret to success? Have you ever met a successful person who didn’t tell you all about it? (Contributed by Kin Hubbard)

42.   Isn’t the road to success marked with many tempting parking spaces? (Contributed by The Duke of Endor)

43.   Isn’t it true that if you continue to do what you have always done, then you will always be where you already are? (Contributed by Danny)

44.   Isn’t the best thing about being successful the fact that you don’t have to listen to advice from your relatives anymore? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)

45.   Isn’t the highest reward for a person’s toil, not what they get for it, but what they become by it? (Contributed by Habib)

46.   Has anybody noticed that the first two letters of goals are “go”? (Contributed by Ananth)

47.   Isn’t the only way to guarantee that you get what you want be to want less? (Contributed by Coop)

48.   If you succeed at failure, which are you, a success or a failure? (Contributed by Packnick)

49.   God gave us two ends. One to sit on and one to think with, right? So doesn’t success depend on which one you use? Heads you win, Tails you lose. (Contributed by Steve)

50.   Isn’t success the best revenge? (Contributed by D. Donaldson)

51.   Won’t those who get too big for their britches be exposed in the end? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)

52.   Aren’t people far more interesting and successful when they are less concerned about being normal, and more concerned about being natural? (Contributed by Michael Nolan)

53.   Isn’t the road to success lined with many tempting parking spaces? (Contributed by Floyd Maxwell)

54.   It doesn’t matter if you win or lose, until you lose. Then it matters, doesn’t it? (Contributed by Steve)

55.   Isn’t it true that those who matter don’t judge you and those who judge you don’t matter? (Contributed by Steve)

56.   What’s right is right, no matter how few people do it, right? But isn’t it also true that what’s wrong is wrong, no matter how many people do it? (Contributed by Steve)

57.   Shouldn’t we be who we are and say what we feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind? (Contributed by Steve)

58.   Would the difference between stumbling blocks and stepping stones be how you use them? (Contributed by Steve)

59.   Don’t you miss 100 percent of the shots you never take? (Contributed by Ralphie)

— From a Gadzillion Things to Talk About

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