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LANGUAGE HUMOR AT ITS FINEST
Making yourself more proficient in English need not be a drag. You can actually speed up the learning process and make it fun by generously lacing it with humor—but preferably the best that the English language can offer.
In this new section, apart from giving a fixed slot to our weekly “In a Lighter Vein” pop-out humor piece in the Forum homepage, we have put together the finest of those weekly humor pop-ups since the Forum started. The best of them—collected from various sources on the web and sent in by friends—are all here, posted in the Forum under the following headings: Wordplay, On the Job, Student and School Life, and Miscellany.
So if you missed any of the best of the Forum’s weekly humor pop-ups, you can enjoy and savor them again and again here—and better still, share them with your friends!
Click here to go to the board (requires registration to post)
18 Proverbs and Sayings Rephrased
Each of the 18 statements below is a highfaluting rendition of a well-known proverb or saying. Test your English vocabulary and sensitivity to verbosity by reconstituting the statements into their original phrasing. For example, “Scintillate, scintillate, asteroid minific” is, of course, better known as “Twinkle, twinkle, little star.”
To find out how you fared in your reconstitution efforts, check the Answer Key at the bottom of this posting. (You must be a registered member to access it.)
1. “Members of an avian species of identical plumage congregate.”
2. “Surveillance should precede saltation.”
3. “Neophyte’s serendipity.”
4. “Pulchritude possesses solely cutaneous profundity.”
5. “It is fruitless to become lachrymose over precipitately departed lacteal fluids.”
6. “The stylus is more potent than the dirk.”
7. “It is fruitless to indoctrinate a superannuated canine with innovative maneuvers.”
8. “The temperature of the aqueous content of an unremittingly ogled culinary vessel does not reach 212 degrees.”
9. “All articles that coruscate with resplendence are not truly auriferous.”
10. “Where there are visible vapors in ignited carbonaceous materials, there is conflagration.”
11. “A plethora of individuals with expertise in culinary techniques vitiate the potable concoction produced by steeping certain comestibles.”
12. “Eleemosynary deeds have their incipience intramurally.”
13. “Male cadavers are incapable of yielding testimony.”
14. “Individuals who make their abode in vitreous edifices would be advised to refrain from catapulting projectiles.”
15. “Exclusive dedication to necessitous chores without interludes of hedonistic diversion renders John a hebetudinous fellow.”
16. “A revolving lithic conglomerate accumulates no congeries of minuscule verdant bryophyte.”
17. “The person presenting the finial cachinnation possesses thereby the primary cachinnation.”
18. “Missiles of ligneous or petrous consistency have the potential of fracturing my osseous structure, but appellations will remain sempiternally innocuous.”
Click this link for the Answer Key inside the Forum
—From the English Language: Smart Words website
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