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LANGUAGE HUMOR AT ITS FINEST
Making yourself more proficient in English need not be a drag. You can actually speed up the learning process and make it fun by generously lacing it with humor—but preferably the best that the English language can offer.
In this new section, apart from giving a fixed slot to our weekly “In a Lighter Vein” pop-out humor piece in the Forum homepage, we have put together the finest of those weekly humor pop-ups since the Forum started. The best of them—collected from various sources on the web and sent in by friends—are all here, posted in the Forum under the following headings: Wordplay, On the Job, Student and School Life, and Miscellany.
So if you missed any of the best of the Forum’s weekly humor pop-ups, you can enjoy and savor them again and again here—and better still, share them with your friends!
Click here to go to the board (requires registration to post)
Making Sense of Academic Talk
The following list of phrases and their definitions might help you understand the mysterious language of science and medicine. These special phrases are also applicable to anyone working on a Ph.D. dissertation or academic paper anywhere!
“It has long been known” = I didn’t look up the original reference.
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“A definite trend is evident” = These data are practically meaningless.
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“While it has not been possible to provide definite answers to the questions…” = An unsuccessful experiment, but I still hope to get it published.
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“Three of the samples were chosen for detailed study” = The other results didn’t make any sense.
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“Typical results are shown” = This is the prettiest graph.
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“These results will be in a subsequent report” = I might get around to this sometime, if pushed/funded.
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“In my experience…” = once.
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“In case after case…” = twice.
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“In a series of cases…” = thrice.
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“It is believed that…” = I think.
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“It is generally believed that…” = A couple of others think so, too.
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“Correct within an order of magnitude” = Wrong.
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“According to statistical analysis…” = Rumor has it.
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“A statistically oriented projection of the significance of these findings…” = A wild guess.
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“A careful analysis of obtainable data” = Three pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over a glass of pop.
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“It is clear that much additional work will be required before a complete understanding of this phenomenon occurs”= I don’t understand it.
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“After additional study by my colleagues…”= They don’t understand it either.
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“Thanks are due to Joe Blotz for assistance with the experiment and to Cindy Adams for valuable discussions” = Mr. Blotz did the work and Ms. Adams explained to me what it meant.
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“A highly significant area for exploratory study” = A totally useless topic selected by my committee.
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“It is hoped that this study will stimulate further investigation in this field” = I quit.
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