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LANGUAGE HUMOR AT ITS FINEST

Making yourself more proficient in English need not be a drag. You can actually speed up the learning process and make it fun by generously lacing it with humor—but preferably the best that the English language can offer.

In this new section, apart from giving a fixed slot to our weekly “In a Lighter Vein” pop-out humor piece in the Forum homepage, we have put together the finest of those weekly humor pop-ups since the Forum started. The best of them—collected from various sources on the web and sent in by friends—are all here, posted in the Forum under the following headings: Wordplay, On the Job, Student and School Life, and Miscellany.

So if you missed any of the best of the Forum’s weekly humor pop-ups, you can enjoy and savor them again and again here—and better still, share them with your friends!

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26 Weird English Words from A to Z
By Theresa Dold

Have you ever worn winklepickers or salopettes? Is the saying about French women and their oxters true? Do your friends complain that you bibble too much? Have you ever experienced zoanthropy and been convinced you were an elephant?

If you’re confused as to how to answer any – or all – of these questions, never fear! We’ve created this confusion, and we’re here to clear it up with this alphabetical list of 26 weird English words and their meanings.

agastopia
n. – admiration of a particular part of someone’s body

bibble
v. – to drink often; to eat and/or drink noisily

cabotage
n. – coastal navigation; the exclusive right of a country to control the air traffic within its borders

NOT: v. – to sabotage with cabbage and/or Vermont Cabot Cheese

doodle sack
n. – old English word for bagpipe

erinaceous
adj. – of, pertaining to, or resembling a hedgehog

Although she won’t know what it means, never, ever tell your date Erin that she is “looking quite erinaceous this evening.”

firman
n. – in Turkey and some other Oriental countries, a decree or mandate issued by the sovereign

gabelle
n. – a tax on salt

halfpace
n. – a platform of a staircase where the stair turns back in exactly the reverse direction of the lower flight

impignorate
v. – to pawn or mortgage something

NOT: v. – to impregnate a pig

jentacular
adj. – pertaining to breakfast

kakorrhaphiophobia
n. – fear of failure

This is the last word that someone with kakorrhaphiophobia would want to encounter in a spelling bee.

lamprophony
n. – loudness and clarity of enunciation

macrosmatic
adj. – having a good sense of smell

nudiustertian
n. – the day before yesterday

NOT: n. – a martian nudist

oxter
n. – outdated word meaning “armpit”

NOT: n. – a creature that is half ox, half otter

pauciloquent
adj. – uttering few words; brief in speech

If you had to figure out how to use this word in context, you probably wouldn’t say much either.

quire
n. – two dozen sheets of paper

ratoon
n. – small shoot growing from the root of a plant

NOT: n. – the offspring of interbreeding rats and raccoons

salopettes
n. – high-waisted skiing pants with shoulder straps

tittynope
n. – a small quantity of something left over

Undoubtedly the biggest eyebrow-raiser on this list!

ulotrichous
adj. – having wooly or crispy hair

First time you’ve heard this word? It’s probably a good indication that you don’t have wooly or crispy hair. Or that you do, and nobody uses this word anymore.

valetudinarian
n. – a sickly or weak person, especially one who is constantly and morbidly concerned with his or her health

Think – “the valedictorian of hypochondriacs”

winklepicker
n. – style of shoe or boot in the 1950s with a sharp and long pointed toe

A close second to “tittynope” in the eyebrow-raiser category

xertz
v. – to gulp down quickly and greedily

yarborough
n. – hand of cards containing no card above a nine

zoanthropy
n. – delusion of a person who believes himself changed into an animal

From a collection in voxy.com

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