MY MEDIA ENGLISH WATCH

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Learning from the faulty English of the top papers and TV websites

Starting last week, I included the news websites of the two major Philippine TV networks, GMA News Online and ABS-CBN News Online, in my Media English Watch. So, at every opportunity, I’ll now be doing critiques of their English usage along with those of the four major Metro Manila broadsheets, namely the Philippine Daily Inquirer, Philippine Star, Manila Bulletin, and The Manila Times.

Again, I would like to make it clear that the instances of faulty English I find in these media outlets are generally not reflective of the overall quality of their English or their journalism. I’m only on the lookout for instructive grammar and usage errors in news and feature reporting, so a media outlet that consistently keeps its English airtight won’t figure at all in my weekly critiques. As I explained to one of the online TV news editors who e-mailed me to express discomfort over the criteria and methodology of my critiques, I catch the media outlet not when it’s doing its English right (which, of course, is most or practically all of the time) but when it has committed a grammar and usage boo-boo.

I think you’ll agree that this approach is much better and more useful than the other way around, for it can help particular media outlets avoid those boo-boos the next time around and, more important, provide learning opportunities for Forum members and others interested in continuously improving their English.

So here now are the most instructive instances of faulty English that I found in those six media outlets during the weekend:

1. Philippine Inquirer: Wrong use of tense and modal

The lead sentence of the news story has a serious problem with the tense and modality in the noun phrase “the time spent removing her from office would be better used to solve the country’s problems.” The faulty phrasing of “the time spent removing her from office” conveys the wrong impression that the Senate trial of the impeached Ombudsman had already taken place and that she had already been adjudged guilty as charged. The use of the modal “would” in the phrase “would be better used to solve the country’s problems” also conveys a wrong sense of conditionality, as if “the time spent removing her from office” was already a known quantity or duration and that this time has a known, definite, and measurable impact on solving the country’s problems.

The correct sense that the Senate impeachment trial had, in fact, not taken place (because if was preempted by the impeached Ombudsman’s resignation) would emerge clearly if the sense of futurity is injected into the phrase “the time spent removing her from office.” This can be done by simply inserting “to be” into that phrase as follows: “the time to be spent removing her from office.” Then the wrong sense of conditionality in the phrase “would be better used to solve the country’s problems” can be corrected by changing the modal “would” to “could”—from certainty to just a possibility.

See how the changes discussed above make that problematic sentence grammatically and semantically aboveboard:

“After months of tough talk, Ombudsman Merceditas Gutierrez quit her post on Friday, saying the time to be spent removing her from office could be better used to solve the country’s problems.”

2.  The Manila Times: Odd grammar and hazy construction

I think that like me, you had a problem understanding what the second phrase of the lead sentence above is saying. Its odd grammar and hazy construction certainly defy parsing and interpretation. I can only hazard a guess what that phrase means through this very tentative rewrite:

“Personal vindication is not an aspiration for her anymore, only the protection of the national interest above anything else.”

3. Philippine Star: Wrongly treating a possibility as a certainty

Because of a missing qualifier in the lead sentence above, the PAGASA’s warning about the occurrence of tornadoes in May is misreported as a dead certainty rather than just a possibility. That semantic glitch can be fixed by inserting the word “possible” before the problematic phrase “frequent occurrence of tornadoes in May,” as follows:

“The Philippine Atmospheric, Geophysical and Astronomical Services Administration (PAGASA) yesterday warned the public against possible frequent tornadoes this May due to severe thunderstorms.”

Even better and more readable:

“The Philippine Atmospheric, Geophysical and Astronomical Services Administration (PAGASA) yesterday warned the public against the possibility of frequent tornadoes this May due to severe thunderstorms.”

4. Philippine Star: Convoluted and semantically slippery sentence 

Due to its convoluted construction, the lead sentence above conveys the wrong sense that what was expanded is the tapping of the power of text massaging to improve the teaching of math and science in public schools, not the Globe Telecom-led Text2Teach project (which, in fact, is the case). This problem can be fixed by rewriting that problematic sentence, as follows:

“The Globe Telecom-led Text2Teach project, which taps the power of text messaging to improve the teaching of math and science in public schools, has been expanded to also cover schools in the Bicol and Ilocos regions.”

This time it’s crystal clear which is tapping what, and we get the bonus of the sentence being much easier to read and understand.

5. Philippine Star: Confusing sentence due to overextended front-end modifying phrase

If you found it difficult to make sense of the lead sentence above, it’s because it has an overly long front-end modifying phrase that delays the identification of the subject of that sentence until 28 words later; even worse, that phrase was punctuated by as many three commas along the way, giving a weird, staccato feel to it. The result is, of course, nothing less than semantic bedlam—a very serious problem that comes up when front-end modifying phrases get too long for comfort. The other serious problem with such a structure for a lead sentence is that it unduly delays the delivery of the real meat of the news, which in this case is the senator’s reiteration of her call for stronger public-private sector partnerships.

Here’s a rewrite of that sentence that greatly clarifies and gives immediacy to what it really means to say:

“Senator Loren Legarda recently reiterated her call for a stronger partnership between the public and private sectors to ensure that schools are safe from disasters. She cited statistics from the Department of Education (DepEd) showing that of the 685 schools inspected nationwide for safety last year, 588 were found to have structural defects.”

6. Manila Bulletin: Wrong sense of phrase

In the lead sentence above, the phrase at the tail end, “the best mosquito killer developed so far all over the world,” conveys the wrong impression that development of that mosquito killer in the story was done all over the world. Of course, like most if not all mosquito killers, it was developed only in one particular part of the world—a sense that can be conveyed by changing the phrase “all over the world” to the more modest “in the world,” as follows:

“A mosquito expert has expressed optimism that the government-developed Ovicidal Larvicidal mosquito Trap (OLTrap) will eventually draw patronage from the global community, saying its non-toxicity has made it the best mosquito killer developed so far in the world.”

7. The Manila Times: Wrong doer of action in subordinate clause

The lead sentence above conveys the wrong sense that it was the DOJ that was charged with tax evasion, not Rep. Juan Miguel “Mikey” Arroyo and his wife, Ma. Angela M. Arroyo. This is because the construction of the subordinate clause is grammatically faulty, making it appear that the subject of this subordinate clause is the DOJ itself and not the Arroyo couple. (Go over that sentence again, more slowly this time, to clearly get that wrong sense.)

To fix the problem, the true subject of this subordinate clause—the Arroyo couple—must be made clear and unmistakable. This can be done by the simple expedient of inserting the pronoun “they” right after the subordinating conjunction “after” and changing the form of the verb form “being charged” to “were charged,” as follows:

“The Department of Justice (DOJ) on Friday summoned former presidential son and Ang Galing Pinoy party-list Rep. Juan Miguel ‘Mikey’ Arroyo and his wife, Ma. Angela M. Arroyo, after they were charged with a P73.85-million tax evasion case by the Bureau of Internal Revenue (BIR) last April 7.”

9. The Manila Times: Wrong choice of word

The lead sentence above is saying that “the walls and flyovers of Epifanio De Los Santos Avenue (EDSA) will soon be dotted with paintings of renowned Filipino artists.” Knowing that those paintings will be reproduced on surfaces huge enough to make the paintings clearly visible from considerable distances, I don’t think those paintings will just “dot” those walls and flyovers. That would make those reproductions an exercise in futility. This is why I’m convinced that “dot” is a seriously inappropriate word choice here, and why I think “graced by”—or else “adorned with”—would be the right choice:

“The Metropolitan Manila Development Authority (MMDA) said the walls and flyovers of Epifanio De Los Santos Avenue (EDSA) will soon be graced by paintings of renowned Filipino artists as part of its urban renewal measures.”

Let’s try “adorned” for size and for the feel of it”:

“The Metropolitan Manila Development Authority (MMDA) said the walls and flyovers of Epifanio De Los Santos Avenue (EDSA) will soon be adorned with paintings of renowned Filipino artists as part of its urban renewal measures.”

10. GMA News Online: Wrong subordinating conjunction

In the lead sentence above, it’s incorrect to use the subordinating conjunction “after” to link the two coordinate clauses, for it conveys the wrong sense that Cebu’s loss of its governor was a separate and distinct event from his death. Those two events—Cebu’s loss of its governor and his death—actually happened simultaneously; in fact, they are effect and cause, and the subordinating conjunction that will yield this logic precisely is “when”:

“Cebu province lost its vice governor Gregorio Sanchez Jr. when he succumbed to Stage 4 lung cancer before dawn Friday.”

11. GMA News Online: Improper placement of the pronoun ahead of its antecedent noun

The lead sentence above puts the cart before the horse, so to speak, for in the underlined phrase above, the pronoun “those” is used way ahead of its antecedent noun, “migrant workers.” This is a big no-no in English except in very rare cases (in poetry, for instance). As a rule, the antecedent noun must be used in a sentence ahead of its pronoun, so that problematic sentence needs to be rewritten as follows:

“Despite intensive repatriation efforts in recent months, the government will be facing a tough challenge protecting its migrant workers in conflict-torn countries of Libya, Syria and Bahrain since many of them there go undocumented, a Cabinet official said Wednesday.”

11. GMA News Online: Improper conjunction

I’m not very comfortable with the use of the conjunction “as soon as” in the lead sentence above, for the sense of “immediately” that it gives to the action in the clause “everyone becomes equal” doesn’t seem called for by the situation. The speed of entry into that compound where the Ampatuans are being tried is not much of consequence here; it’s the mere fact of entry into that compound that gives the feeling of everyone becoming “equals,” and I think the word that best conveys this sense is the conjunction “when”:

“When you enter the high-walled compound of the Quezon City Jail Annex in Taguig City where the Ampatuan multiple murder case is being heard, everyone becomes equal - well, almost.”

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