Jose Carillo's English Forum - Badly Written, Badly Spoken

BADLY WRITTEN, BADLY SPOKEN

This page seeks to promote good English usage in everyday life—whether at home, at school, in the workplace, in public platforms, in the mass media, in books, and anywhere else where the printed or spoken word is used. In short, this page will serve as some sort of grammar police against blatant or grievous public misuses of English.

So, whenever you encounter such misuse, share it through this page in the spirit of constructive criticism. Our ultimate goal, of course, is to bring the misuse to the attention of those responsible so they can make the necessary correction.

This Week's Feature:

The boat is sinking

Forum member Kuyerjudd posted the photo below and the note that follows it:

I take the ferry to school every day, and I always pass by this sign. It says, “It is prohibited by law to take out of the boat lifesaving apparatus except for intended use.”

To be honest, I had to read it a good six times to get what it was trying to say.

“Out of the boat” is misplaced, but that’s an easy fix. What I don’t know is where “except for intended use” fits into the puzzle—or for that matter, what the “intended use” is. Plus, couldn’t they have just put “life vests” or “life jackets” instead of the pompous “lifesaving apparatus”? And, “prohibited by law”...?

My response to Kuyerjudd’s posting:

“It is prohibited by law to take out of the boat lifesaving apparatus except for intended use.”

This notice is a particularly turgid mix of bureaucratese and legalese that’s meant to terrify people into uncomprehending submission. Its effect is, of course, very much like that of a religious invocation delivered in Latin or Greek or Hebrew to a congregation whose members speak only Tagalog or some other Philippine regional language or dialect. Only the speaker is meant to understand what’s being said and the listeners are just expected to be conveniently spellbound. In short, it is jargon and it really has no business being used in a notice that could spell the difference between life and death among those who read it.

In plain and simple English, that notice actually means this:

“It is illegal to take out this life vest except during an emergency.”

But I submit that it’s better worded in this reader-friendly way:

“This life vest is for use only during an emergency.”

Those who ride the MRT or LRT must have also encountered similarly worded jargon in the train coaches. Written from the cockeyed perspective of bureaucrats and lawyers, those warnings seem to be concerned more with the illegality of misusing lifesaving equipment than with its proper use in saving lives.

There really ought to be a law against such language.

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You can report the English misuse by e-mailing a verbatim transcription or an image in GIF or JPEG format to jcarilloforum@gmail.com. When doing so, please be mindful of the laws against libel and oral defamation. Our interest is not to humiliate English-language offenders but to help them rectify the error, so there’s no need to identify them in your messages. Just indicate the city, district, street, and general location where you saw or found the particular English misuse to make it easier for those concerned to be alerted about it.

We will also need your full name, residence, e-mail address, and telephone number so we can confirm with you before the posting is made on this page. Just let us know if you don’t want to be identified in the posting so we can withhold your identity. Please keep in mind that this page will be moderated and will not entertain scurrilous reports nor those sent in by anonymous sources.

That said, you can now get started in doing volunteer police work for the sake of good English! It should be a truly gratifying educational experience and you and other English lovers can have lots of fun besides!