Jose Carillo's Forum

THE LOUNGE

The Lounge is the newly expanded free-talk section of the Forum. You can post anything here about any topic outside English grammar and usage. Wide-ranging discussions and debates will be allowed in the Lounge subject only to the condition that the subjects are not unlawful, obscene, vulgar, sexually-oriented, hateful, and threatening. As in the Forum’s sections on English grammar and usage, we expect discussants to keep the Lounge a vibrant venue for relevant, healthy, and civilized discussions, not impertinent, angry, or violent ones.

So if you have any non-grammar thought or idea you’d like to share, make the Lounge the sounding board for it now! Let your fellow Forum members help you germinate the seed of that idea if it’s a good one—or terminate it if it turns out to be otherwise.

“Pun-ography”: Wordplay to make you smile

This delightful collection of puns from various sources is being shared with us by Manila-based Forum contributor Ben Sanchez:

When chemists die, they barium.

***

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

***

A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

***

I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

***

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

***

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

***

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.

***

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.

***

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

***

They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type-O.

***

Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

***

Energizer bunny arrested. Charged with battery.

***

I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

***

How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!

***

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?

***

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

***

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!

***

Broken pencils are pointless.

***

I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

***

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

***

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

***

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

***

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

***

All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on.

***

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

***

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

***

Velcro—what a rip off!

***

Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

***

Venison for dinner? Oh deer!

***

Earthquake in Washington obviously government’s fault.

***

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.

***

Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.

Click to read responses or post a response

View the complete list of postings in this section

 




Copyright © 2010 by Aperture Web Development. All rights reserved.

Page best viewed with:

Mozilla FirefoxGoogle Chrome

Valid XHTML 1.0 Transitional

Page last modified: 29 July, 2012, 5:00 a.m.