28 + 1 Funny Signs Found on Real BusinessesYou are invited to savor the wicked double entendres in this 2010 Forum collection of 28 + 1 hilarious signs found on real businesses. Check them up now before these businesses start floundering and close shop for being too smart-alecky and too impertinent!Sign on an electrician’s truck (which is also part of the electrician's opening to female homebodies):
Let us remove your shorts. 
IMAGE CREDIT: PINTEREST.COM***
Maternity clothes shop:
We are open on Labor Day. ***
Non-smoking area:
If we see you smoking we will assume you on fire and take appropriate action. ***
On a maternity room door:
Push, Push, Push ***
On a front door:
Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog. ***
Optometrist’s Office:
***
Scientist’s Door:
Gone Fission ***
Taxidermist’s window:
We really know our stuff. ***
Podiatrist’s window:
Time wounds all heels. ***
Butcher’s window:
Let me meat your needs. ***
Used-car lot:
Second-hand cars in first crash condition ***
Sign on fence:
Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive. 
***
Car dealership:
The best way to get back on your feet—miss a car payment. ***
Muffler shop:
No appointment necessary. We’ll hear you coming. ***
Hotel:
“Help!”: We need inn-experienced people. ***
Butcher’s window:
Pleased to meat you. ***
Auto body shop:
May we have the next dents? ***
Sign in an office:
We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left. ***
Veterinarian’s waiting room:
Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay! ***
The electric company:
We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don’t, you will be. ***
Beauty shop:
Dye now! 
***
Garbage truck:
We’ve got what it takes to take what you’ve got. ***
Computer store:
Out for a quick byte ***
Diner window:
Don’t stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up. ***
Bowling alley:
Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop. ***
Cafeteria:
Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want. ***
Music library:
Bach in a minuet. ***
Funeral home:
Drive carefully; we’ll wait. —From Tina’s Humor PagePlus:
These gamut of contradictory highway signages to blow your top:
