Author Topic: Some Amusing One-Liners  (Read 3163 times)

Joe Carillo

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4636
  • Karma: +198/-2
    • View Profile
    • Email
Some Amusing One-Liners
« on: December 11, 2010, 01:07:55 AM »
Some Amusing One-Liners


Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

***

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

***

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

***

I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

***

Honk if you love peace and quiet.

***

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

***

I intend to live forever—so far so good.

***

Borrow money from a pessimist—they don’t expect it back.

***

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

***

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

***

Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.

***

For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.

***

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

***

Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.

***

To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.

***

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

***

The sooner you fall behind the more time you’ll have to catch up.

***

Change is inevitable except from vending machines.

***

If a job is worth doing, then get someone in to do it properly.

Source: Matt’s Humor: Word Play

—As posted in “Word Puzzlers, Ponderers, Poetry, Peculiar and Playful Prose”