« on: November 19, 2011, 11:20:19 AM »
25 Paraprosdokians to Perk Up What Might Be a So-So DayDo you know what a “paraprosdokian” is? Just in case you don’t, it’s a late 20th century neologism—a fusion of the Greek words for “despite” and “expectation”—for a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. Often referred to as “sentences that throw a curve,” paraprosdokians are used by comedians and satirists for humorous or dramatic effect. IMAGE QUOTE: UNBATE.NGONTINH24.COMHere’s a generous sampling of 25 paraprosdokians to perk up your day:“I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with ‘Guess’ written on it...so I said ‘Implants?’”
***
“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go. —Oscar Wilde
***
“When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.”
***
“There but for the grace of God goes God.”—Sir Winston Churchill commenting on Sir Stafford Cripps, British socialist philosopher
***
“Two wrongs don’t make a right—but three lefts do.”
***
“Now, you take my wife… PLEASE! —Henny Youngman
***
“Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.”
***
“If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.”
***
“War does not determine who is right—only who is left.”
***
“The early bird gets the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese.”
***
“I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way, so I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.”
***
“Do not argue with an idiot: he will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.”
***
“I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather, not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.”
***
“Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says ‘If an emergency, notify . . . ,’ I put ‘DOCTOR’.”
***
“Americans choose between two people for president but among fifty for Miss America.”
***
“Behind the rise of every successful man stands a woman, and behind the fall of every successful man is another woman.”
***
“A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.”
***
“I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.”
***
“You’re never too old to learn something stupid.”
***
“Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.”
***
“If I am reading this graph correctly — I’d be very surprised.” —Stephen Colbert
***
“You can always count on the Americans to do the right thing...after they have tried everything else.” —Winston Churchill
***
“On his feet he wore ... blisters.” —Aristotle
***
“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.” —Groucho Marx
***
“In the morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas, I don’t know.”—Groucho Marx
***
“One thing you mustn’t miss when you are in Nome—the plane!”—From the humor collection of AlphaDictionary.com
« Last Edit: August 25, 2022, 01:46:19 PM by Joe Carillo »
Logged
