A Cavalcade of Amusing English Signages in Foreign CountriesHere are some authentic commercial signboards spotted by foreign visitors in various countries:
In a Romanian elevator: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
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In a French hotel: Please leave your values at the front desk.
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In a Greek hotel: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 a.m. daily.
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In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
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In a Russian hotel: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
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In a Hong Kong supermarket: For your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service.
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In a South African shop: We will execute customers in strict rotation.
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In a Kenyan newspaper: A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.
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In a Swiss hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby by used for this purpose.
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At an Indian shop: Froot Stal—froot chooce sold here.
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At a Hong Kong dentist’s: Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
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At a Czech tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city tours. We guarantee no miscarriages.
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Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride on your own ass?
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On a battery in India: Made by Japan in India.
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On a Japanese detour sign: Stop. Drive sideways.
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At a Danish travel agency: We take your bags and send them in all directions.
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In Norway: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
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At an Italian doctor’s: Specialist in women and other diseases.
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At a Mexican hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
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In a Japanese car hire information brochure: When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.
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In a Spanish shop: English well talking.
Also: Here speeching American.
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An ad for laundry: We don’t tear your clothes with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
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On an Indian building: National Institute for Stuttering Management and Behaviour Technology.
—From the jokes collection of FortuneCity.com
