Jose Carillo's English Forum
General Category => Language Humor at its Finest => Topic started by: Joe Carillo on October 30, 2010, 12:43:38 AM
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If a tree falls...
By David Lawrence
(http://josecarilloforum.com/imgs/fallen-tree_inforest-1C.png)
This is the question: “If a tree falls in the forest, and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?”
Here are some answers:
If a tree falls in the forest...
Catholicism: “It fell for our sins.”
Judaism: “Oy, the tree fell, again?!”
Buddhism: “There is no tree.”
Islam: “Islam is not really about knocking over trees.”
Fundamentalism: “The tree was Evil.”
Racism: “That kind of tree is always falling.”
Plagiarism: “That kind of tree is always falling.”
Defeatism: “All the trees are going to fall.”
Pessimism: “That is the forest of the fallen tree.”
Optimism: “Almost all the trees are standing.”
Capitalism: “Let’s sell the wood.”
Globalism: “Let’s sell the wood, half way around the world.”
Communism: “Let’s knock over all the other trees.”
Socialism: “Let’s ask the other trees to fall.”
Nepotism: “Give the tree to my cousin.”
Isolationism: “That tree is none of our business; in fact, neither is the forest.”
And the one that actually tries to answer the question asked, is...
Quantum Physics: “Of course not, by definition.”
© Copyright 2004 David Lawrence
—From NoShadow.cnc.net (http://noshadow.cnc.net/jokes/words/atreefalls.shtml)
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
David Lawrence has a Ph.D. in literature. He has published over 200 blogs, 600 poems, a memoir “The King of White-Collar Boxing,” several books of poems, including “Lane Changes.” He was a professional boxer and a CEO. in 2015 he was listed in New York Magazine as the 41st reason to love New York. (This profile was added on November 4, 2017)