Jose Carillo's English Forum
General Category => Language Humor at its Finest => Topic started by: Joe Carillo on December 04, 2011, 12:25:27 AM
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69 Job Description Jokes
A lousy lawyer is always appealing.
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A tall lawyer looks good in briefs.
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A nude model barely makes a living.
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On the job, drillers are boring.
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Every good musician is noteworthy.
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An emotional dermatologist makes rash judgments.
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The dentist and manicurist fought tooth and nail.
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A good teacher has class.
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Editors have no problem making amends.
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Kindergarten teaching is just kidding around.
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A suspicious gardener enjoys a good plot.
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Most psychiatrists should be committed.
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Cops have arresting personalities.
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The professional farmer is outstanding in his field.
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An incompetent chef can dessert his patrons.
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A good cook knows how to dish it out.
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An army cook can make a mess.
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Accountants appreciate a good figure.
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Smart electricians are up on current affairs.
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An enthusiastic archeologist digs her job.
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A mail carrier is a person of letters.
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Taxidermists have lots of stuff.
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A cement worker has concrete ideas.
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Sleeping plumbers have pipe dreams.
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Inventors are patently smart.
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Your dentist knows the drill.
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A good rancher has a herd mentality.
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Gamblers are a dicey lot.
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A photographer’s skill is developing.
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A good artist can draw a crowd.
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A roofer on the job is above it all.
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Usually violinists just string along.
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Lazy bakers loaf on the job.
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New carpenters screw up a lot.
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A blind barber depends upon shear luck.
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A good baseball player is a swinger at home.
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Football coaching is a sideline career.
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Any golfer should be able to tell a good lie.
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A funny butcher enjoys a good rib.
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Experienced typists are key personnel.
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A part-time maestro is a semiconductor.
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A good realtor has lots of promise.
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A cowboy needs a stage coach.
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Most doctors are patient people.
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A competent tailor likes to size up his customers.
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No shoe seller should have a stocking problem.
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The son of the florist is a budding genius.
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Some psychoanalysts give complex advice.
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An evil candle maker does wicked things.
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A successful funeral director is dead serious.
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Undertakers face stiff competition.
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Worried cemetery worker has grave concerns.
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Some truck drivers are semi-professionals.
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Telephone linemen can be poles apart.
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State troopers know just the ticket.
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A ballerina can leap to conclusions.
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Librarians possess novel information.
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Cashiers think change is inevitable.
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An experienced coroner is good at dead reckoning.
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A determined webmaster can find the missing link.
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A state governor prefers capital letters.
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Old cabinet makers enjoy board meetings.
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Fans think pro hockey players walk on water.
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The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
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The taxi driver quit his job because he couldn’t hack it.
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Fishermen have to rely on net income.
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There is no future in being a historian.
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A playwright likes to make a scene.
—From a collection in Jim Wegryn presents (http://www.jimwegryn.com/Words/JobJokes.htm)