Jose Carillo's English Forum
General Category => Language Humor at its Finest => Topic started by: Joe Carillo on October 31, 2011, 02:11:27 PM
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A Few Husband-and-Wife Quotes
“The man who says his wife can’t take a joke, forgets that she took him.”
~ Oscar Wilde ~
“It’s a funny thing that when a man hasn’t anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.”
~ Robert Frost ~
“I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.”
~ Rodney Dangerfield ~
“He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house.”
~ Zsa Zsa Gabor ~
“I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn’t.
~ James Holt McGavra ~
“The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.”
~ H.V. Prochnow ~
“Three rings of marriage are the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.”
~ Funny Short Saying ~
“I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.”
~ Sigmund Freud ~
“A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.”
~ Zsa Zsa Gabor ~
“An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets, the more interested he is in her.”
~ Agatha Christie ~
“My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn’t.”
~ Funny Short Saying ~
“My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.”
~ Rodney Dangerfield ~
“Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up.”
~ Evelyn Hendrickson ~
“I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married.”
~ Lewis Grizzard ~
“All marriages are happy. It’s the living together afterward that causes all the trouble.”
~ Raymond Hull ~
—From a collection by Quotescoop.com (http://www.inspirational-quotes-short-funny-stuff.com/short-funny-quotes.html)