“I want to create a style of my own”

[Joe Carillo]

Because its thoughts still resonate and are as relevant as ever today, I am taking the liberty of posting here an e-mail I received way back in August 2002 from a writer who simply called herself “Francois.” She sent me the e-mail a few weeks after I started out with my English-usage column in The Manila Times. Recently, I wanted to get in touch with her to ask her to post it in the Forum herself, but my search for her e-mail to get her e-mail address was in vain. It has been so long that my mailbox seems to have already consigned that e-mail to netherspace.

Here’s what Francois wrote:

I am a 2000 graduate in journalism. I have been working in a publishing company for two years now, and I have been practicing my writing skills all this time, but I don’t really feel that I am that good, particularly in writing in English. As in the examples of application letters that you showed in your column, some people—and that includes me—wish to express themselves in writing to reflect the level of education they have attained. I think they use highfalutin words to show off an air of high academic achievement, but as you showed in your articles, their English ironically becomes “convoluted, stilted.” Not long ago I started trying to correct this mistake.

As a writer, I would like to create a style of my own. But in my company I have a senior editor who edits my work before publication. He is in his senior years and has experience. His “years” in the field of media, PR, and editorial have earned him respect and given him a reputation. I recognize and respect this. My problem is that when he edits my work, it doesn’t feel like it is my work anymore. His “writing style” is not so much to my liking, but I tried to adapt to it simply as one way of improving myself.

My senior editor is someone who writes to get the “intellectual sympathy” of readers, but I want to write to win the “emotional sympathy” of my readers. When he edits me, every “improvement” he makes in my work is a cut on my ego. They make me doubt my writing ability. I feel that I did not learn anything after over a year of working under him. The result? Whenever I work, I find it hard to complete sentences. I am ever so conscious of my choice of words. It’s just that my senior editor always thinks up other words and phrases to replace mine. One time I took pains to write an article with great simplicity. This was the only time that I remember him not making any major correction. I was enthused by this, but I didn’t feel fulfilled with the article. It was because I know I did not write it for my self-fulfillment.

It would greatly help to hear the suggestions of a reputable writer about my predicament.

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What do you think of the thoughts expressed by Francois in this essay? Click the Reply button to post your thoughts on Jose Carillo’s English Forum.

[jasonago]

My training as a nurse led me to accept that the person's thought process is reflected through language and verbal communication. As a personal modification of this idea, I believe that the person's verbal communication is a reflection of the person's knowledge/education + thought processes.

I said this idea because I can see how the two journalist in the letter differ from each other - they differ in though process rather than education. To cite, "My senior editor is someone who writes to get the “intellectual sympathy” of readers, but I want to write to win the “emotional sympathy” of my readers."

Francois can actually tailor her articles to her boss' liking as what she said in the letter:
"One time I took pains to write an article with great simplicity. This was the only time that I remember him not making any major correction."

But when she does that, anxiety ensues as exemplified by:
"every 'improvement' he makes in my work is a cut on my ego..."

My common suggestion to this scenario is to talk with the boss to resolve issues. But I understand that it will be very hard to even comment about a topic especially in front of the face of a highly acclaimed person. A simple segway might mean total opposition to the boss.

My next suggestion is if she really want to express herself the way she likes it, why not transfer to other columns or transfer to another media firm. Find her own nest where she feels at home.

Another point: Articles sounds unnatural if you will always think of the best words. If you value communication with your readers, I feel that the best way to write is as if you are just talking to them OR narrating something to them. A clear statement sounds professional but a highfalutin statement is pseudo-cryptology.

Still another point: You write to inform not to impress. When the readers are informed, they will be impressed by your skills.

As a final statement, every person has their own writing style. Francois does not need to create her writing syle. She already have it. It's just that she can't use it to the fullest because of her boss.