« on: August 14, 2011, 11:25:37 AM »
Choice Bits of Modern Wisdom
There’s two theories to arguin’ with a woman. Neither one works.
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After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: when you’re full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
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If you find yourself in a hole the first thing to do is stop diggin’.
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Never smack a man who’s chewin’ tobacco.
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It doesn’t take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
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Never follow good whiskey with water, unless you’re out of good whiskey.
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If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around.
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Don’t worry about bitin’ off more than you can chew. Your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger’n you think.
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Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
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Always drink upstream from the herd.
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Never drop your gun to hug a grizzly.
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If you’re ridin’ ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it’s still there.
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When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don’t be surprised if they learn their lesson.
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When you're throwin’ your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.
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Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier ’n puttin’ it back.
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The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.
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A smart ass just don’t fit in a saddle.
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Never miss a good chance to shut up.
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50% of all Harvard MBA's graduated in the bottom half of their class.—From the jokes collection of The Humor Bin
« Last Edit: August 16, 2023, 09:09:37 AM by Joe Carillo »
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