Jose Carillo's English Forum
General Category => Lounge => Topic started by: Joe Carillo on June 08, 2013, 04:56:51 PM
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Forum member Ben Sanchez is sharing with us today what he calls a Modern Dictionary’s “wonderfully described definitions.”
Let’s enjoy them!
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CIGARETTE:
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other!
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MARRIAGE:
It’s an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master.
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LECTURE:
An art of transmitting information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students without passing through the minds of either.
CONFERENCE:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
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COMPROMISE:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
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TEARS:
The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water-power!
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ECSTASY:
A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
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CLASSIC:
A book which people praise, but never read.
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SMILE:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight!
OFFICE:
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
YAWN:
The only time when some married men ever get to open their mouth.
EXPERIENCE:
The name men give to their mistakes.
DIPLOMAT:
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
OPTIMIST:
A person who while falling from EIFFEL TOWER says in midway “SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!”
MISER:
A person who lives poor so that he can die RICH!
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FATHER:
A banker provided by nature.
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BOSS:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
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POLITICIAN:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence later.
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DOCTOR:
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by his bills!