« on: May 09, 2019, 07:14:12 PM »
To ensure continuing success in your business dealings and personal relationships, you need to strictly abide by or observe the following 21 rules and truisms. Need it be emphasized here that willful disregard for them would be inevitably disastrous for you?
***
2. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
***
3. Tell me what you need, and I’ll tell you how to get along without it.
***
4. Accept that some days you are the pigeon and most days the statue.
***
5. Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he or she isn’t there the first time, chances are you won’t be needing him or her again.
***
6. I don’t have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.
***
7. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the f_ _ _ is the ceiling?
***
8. My reality check bounced.
***
9. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
***
10. I don’t suffer from stress. I am a carrier.
***
11. You are slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
***
12. I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either.
***
13. Everyone is someone else’s weirdo.
***
14. Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.
***
15. A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.
***
16. Don’t be irreplaceable—if you can’t be replaced, you won’t be promoted.
***
17. After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
***
18. The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
***
19. You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
***
20. I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either.—Submitted by Jena M. Graham to lol-jokes.comBONUS:
21. Age doesn't make you forgetful. Having way too many stupid things to remember makes you forgetful.
« Last Edit: April 06, 2023, 07:31:54 PM by Joe Carillo »
Logged
