Jose Carillo's English Forum
General Category => Language Humor at its Finest => Topic started by: Joe Carillo on December 11, 2010, 01:07:55 AM
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Some Amusing One-Liners
Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
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On the other hand, you have different fingers.
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I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
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I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
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Honk if you love peace and quiet.
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I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
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I intend to live forever—so far so good.
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Borrow money from a pessimist—they don’t expect it back.
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If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
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A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
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Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
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For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
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Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
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Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.
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To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
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The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
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The sooner you fall behind the more time you’ll have to catch up.
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Change is inevitable except from vending machines.
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If a job is worth doing, then get someone in to do it properly.
Source: Matt’s Humor: Word Play (http://nob.cs.ucdavis.edu/bishop/misc/humor/puns.html)
—As posted in “Word Puzzlers, Ponderers, Poetry, Peculiar and Playful Prose” (http://www.cupola.com/wrdplay1.htm)