Our Crazy Language—Why Does English Behave the Way It Does?Did you know that “verb” is a noun?
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How can you look up words in a dictionary if you can’t spell them?
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If a word is misspelled in a dictionary, how would we ever know?
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If two mouses are “mice” and two louses are “lice,” why aren’t two houses “hice”?
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If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
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If you wrote a letter, perhaps you bote your tongue?
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If you’ve read a book, you can reread it. But wouldn’t this also mean that you would have to “member” somebody in order to remember them?
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In Chinese, why are the words for “crisis” and “opportunity” the same?
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Is it a coincidence that the only 15-letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is “uncopyrightable”?
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Is there another word for a synonym?
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Shouldn’t there be a shorter word for “monosyllabic”?
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What is another word for “thesaurus”?
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Where do swear words come from?
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Why can’t you make another word using all the letters in “anagram”?
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Why do “fat chance” and “slim chance” mean the same thing?
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Why do “overlook” and “oversee” mean opposite things?
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Why do people use the word “irregardless”?
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Why do some people type “cool” as “kewl?”
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Why do we say something is “out of whack”? What is a “whack”?
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Why do we say something’s “out of order” when it’s broken but we never say “in of order” when it works?
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Why does “cleave” mean both split apart and stick together?
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Why does “slow down” and “slow up” mean the same thing?
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Why does “flammable” and “inflammable” mean the same thing?
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Why does the Chinese ideogram for “trouble” symbolize two women living under one roof?
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Why does X stand for a kiss and O stand for a hug?
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Why doesn’t “onomatopoeia” sound like what it is?
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Why don’t we say “why” instead of “how come”?
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Why is “crazy man” an insult, while to insert a comma and say “Crazy, man!” is a compliment?
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Why are a “wise man” and a “wise guy” opposites?
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Why is “abbreviation” such a long word?
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Why is “dyslexic” so hard to spell?
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Why is it so hard to remember how to spell MNEMONIC?
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Why is it that no word in the English language rhymes with “month,” “orange,” “silver,” or “purple”?
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Why is it that we “recite” at a play and “play” at a recital?
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Why is it that writers “write” but fingers don’t “fing,” grocers don’t “groce” and hammers don’t “ham”?
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Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
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Why is the plural of “goose” – “geese,” and why isn’t the plural of “moose” – “meese”?
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Why isn’t “palindrome” spelled the same way backwards?
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Why isn’t “phonetic” spelled the way it sounds?
—From “Therapeutic Humor with Dr. Steve,” HumorMatters.com***
25 Thoughts To Get You Through Almost Any Crisis1. Indecision is the key to flexibility.
2. You cannot tell which way the train went by looking at the track.
3. There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.
4. Happiness is merely the remission of pain.
5. Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
6. Sometimes too much drink is not enough.
7. The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.
8. The careful application of terror is also a form of communication.
9. Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world.
10. Things are more like they are today than they ever have been before.
11. Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.
12. Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.
13. Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
14. I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.
15. Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.
16. All things being equal, fat people use more soap.
17. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
18. One-seventh of your life is spent on Monday.
19. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
20. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
21. The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.
22. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
23. This is as bad as it can get, but don’t bet on it.
24. Never wrestle with a pig: You both get all dirty, and the pig likes it.
25. The trouble with life is, you're halfway through it before you realize it’s a “do it yourself” thing.
—From the Humor Bin “Culture Shock” Collection
