Let’s pause from our English usage lessons and other concerns to ponder this retrospective of a 2007 letter of outrage sent to me by a U.S.-based American married to a Filipina. This letter first appeared in my “English Plain and Simple” column in The Manila Times that November 11 years ago, but I think it remains relevant even today to Filipino learners of English who get hard-earned financial support from their immediate relatives living overseas. Dear Jose:
I thought of sharing with you what I believe is a serious issue concerning both the state of English there in the Philippines and the overall evolution and direction of the country’s lingua franca.
IMAGE CREDIT: PHOTO FROM BUILDTOADAPT.IO MODIFIED FOR REPRESENTATION PURPOSES ONLY Recently, my niece—in her senior year of undergrad school—sent us yet another request to finance her latest needs and wants. My wife was more than upset because she has become very, very fatigued with the endless demands for money from her family there—a situation that always boils down to some form of emotional blackmail.
If she says “yes” then she’s the great provider and in the same league as the Almighty; if she says “no,” then she’s the daughter of old Beelzebub himself. Sadly, any negative response on my wife’s part is always met with this same tired list of acerbic remarks: (1) We are poor, your husband is rich—this is a real joke!—so you owe us a living from his fortune; (2) You owe us your life, so by denying us this small request you are showing that you are
walanghiya (shameless); and (3) Because you are denying us, the villagers are all talking about how horrible a daughter you really are.
I am sure you could understand that we really don’t deserve to be treated in this manner, particularly in the light of our immense sacrifices over the years that have taken our family there from the poorest to the richest in that petty “one carabao town.”
The e-mail we received had a very peculiar emetic form that caused my wife to scream: (1) It was written partially in English, with all non-innate words written in Tagalog; (2) The grammar and semantics showed no regard for either language; and (3) It was as though my niece was sending an (SMS) text message rather than a formal request for additional assistance.
My niece was looking for a serious amount of money to: (1) Pay her tuition and activities fees; (2) Purchase a brand-new laptop; and (3) Purchase a round-trip plane ticket from Manila because she was not up to the bus ride.
My wife had become so used to being dealt with at this very low level that she hardly flinches anymore, but this time she sent such a strong response that I am sure her niece would be reading your column assiduously for the rest of her life.
She told her niece that until she learns to write in proper English or Tagalog, she is not to write to her at all. She said that we have not financed her education up to this point only to see such a lowly command of English and that the root cause must be indolence. Finally, she said, it appears as though the perception about her life here in America and being married to an American is that we are a private ATM machine to be drawn upon at her leisure for any and all needs, however real or contrived.
I was proud of my wife for doing this because as she has learned over the years, we work extremely hard here in America. We are given nothing and none of us owes anyone else in this world. She was hoping to teach her niece that if people are going to play a game with two sets of rules—one for giving, another for taking—then it would be better not to play at all.
So keep up the good fight and teach everyone there to keep their English and Tagalog in their respective places. I believe it is so important to show to investors that their investment in another person’s college education is being treated with a reciprocal dedicated investment in scholarship.
Hoping all is well,
DM (Name withheld to ensure privacy of those concerned)
This letter first appeared in the column “English Plain and Simple” by Jose A. Carillo in the November 8, 2007 issue of The Manila Times
, ©2007 by the Manila Times Publishing Corp. All rights reserved.
