Goofy Unofficial Conversion Table
The world has many things in need of measurement to which official measures do not apply. What follows is a collection from AlphaDictionary.com of unofficial measures and their equivalents that only make half-sense but could give us a good giggle:
1,000,000 maniacs = 1 megalomaniac (Thanks R. Dharmarajan)
4 lawyers = 2 paralegals
2 untruths = 1 paralyze
1 first-date kiss = 1 peck
1 French kiss = two tongues of fun
(http://josecarilloforum.com/imgs/firstkiss_image-2.jpg)(http://josecarilloforum.com/imgs/FrenchKiss-8.jpg)
1 first-date kiss = 1 peck 1 French kiss = two tongues of fun
Contributed by Paul McIntier:
Half of a large intestine = 1 semicolon
Ratio of an igloo’s circumference to its diameter = 1 Eskimo Pi
2,000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton soup
1 millionth mouthwash = 1 microscope
Speed of a tortoise breaking the sound barrier = Mach Turtle
Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = Knot-furlong
365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it's less filling = 1 lite year
1000 aches = 1 megahurtz
Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram
Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower
Shortest distance between two jokes = A straight line
Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond
A half bathroom = 1 demijohn
1 million microphones = 1 megaphone
1 million bicycles = 2 megacycles
365.25 days = 1 unicycle
2,200 mockingbirds = two kilomockingbirds
From the prodigious collection of Paul Ogden:
1 dialog = 2 monologs
5 dialogs = 1 decalog
2 monograms = 1 diagram
8 nickels = 2 paradigms
2 wharves = 1 paradox
1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche
1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin*
1 million billion picolos = 1 gigolo
10 rations = 1 decoration
100 rations = 1 C-ration
10 millipedes = 1 centipede
3 1/3 tridents = 1 decadent
10 cards = 1 decacards
1000 grams of wet socks = 1 literhosen
One acre = 43,560 square feet = a lotsa toes
—From AlphaDictionary.com (http://www.alphadictionary.com/fun/measurement_conversions.html)
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*terrapin – any of various aquatic turtles (family Emydidae)