Part 1 - Banning a Forum Member

[hill roberts]

I joined this Forum last September 2009 by accident. Since then, I've enjoyed every minute of my participation here and I'm grateful to Joe for giving me and others the freedom to speak our minds here--no holds barred--which I genuinely find refreshing. I've joined and left comments at many sites over a period and occasionally, it was common to find unreasonable commenters, let alone, with added unpleasant words that could take the discussion to another level. Heated or not, discussions are a reassuring way to pat yourself on the back and say, this society has arrived; it's modern and tolerant. Without fear, we speak our minds. I've always been outspoken, yes, I speak with clarity and frankness. I don't mince my words. I say what I think. When I know I'm wrong, I apologise. For me, it's much easier than allowing that baggage hanging around your neck like an albatross. My father always told me that it's best to speak one's mind, and if you're wrong, just apologise.Simple. I know that  not a lot of Filipinos believe in this credo, and I am not surprised since the culture in the Philippines is one of sentimentality, the deeply-rooted "pakikisama" and of course the usual  shift in loyalty at a drop of a hat. I will not hesitate to tell my co-Forum members that I had been banned, too-not for bad language or swearing/cursing,or being unreasonable, but for giving a different outlook into what I believed to be the answer. The thing is, it was so trivial that it makes me laugh now each time I look back. Would you believe it when I say that the topic in question was about "steaks"? How it should be cooked? Having lived in Europe for thirty years have taught me a few hometruths, including, of course, steaks and how it should be grilled since Europeans are generally big  steak eaters, more than Filipinos will ever be. We know the Philipppines to be a fish, pork and chicken country, and not beef/steak eaters like the Europeans or Americans.

[vans26]

When I know I'm wrong, I apologise.

Hill Roberts, did you apologize to maxsims for what you said about him?   You said some nasty things and they were wrong.

[hill roberts]

Vans26--Usually I say Hi or Hello, but you simply addressed me without the cordiality...
Well, yes I did. You can check it out and he responded in a most respectful manner, too.He even used the words, "thank  you for your gracious apology." As for your accusations that I said nasty things about him, prove it. If that's nasty, I don't know what kind of vocabulary you may be using, when making an argument. I give as good as it gets,however,  when I think I'm wrong, I do apologise. What's the problem , then?  ::)Cheers!

[vans26]

Why prove it?   You just said you apologize for it.

I think "thank you for your gracious apology" is a sharp way of saying you didn't.

[hill roberts]

What exactly is your point here? Maxsims already accepted my gracious apology. What's there to discuss? Besides, if you're simply trying to manipulate this conversation for the sake of it, then let's end it right now. Why don't you open a new topic so we can discuss it?  The Lounge Section is for everyone. Why do I get the feeling that I know you, despite your code name? You can't hide behind that incognito. 

[hill roberts]

Part 2...Banning a Forum Member. There are reasonable ways to ban a forum member. In my case, the one who banned me when I suggested to him that his steak was actually a T-bone, and not a proper steak at all was neither here nor there. What got his goat was when I disagreed with him on something that was clearly wrong. He said that in a restaurant, when you order a steak, you can tell the Chef to leave it in the kitchen after grilling it for around eight-nine minutes before serving it to his client(s). So, I said, What? I want my steak hot! Why should I tell the Chef (who probably would be very busy anyway) to leave it in the kitchen to "drip" so that it comes out "more tender" or something to that effect? I mean, this guy is nuts to put his idea into every commenter's head that "that is the right thing to do!!!" as he expressed dissatisfaction to my dissatisfaction of how my steak should be done. All I said to him was, "..after sitting there for almost an hour, waiting for your steak, you'd have the gall to tell the Chef to leave it there to "drip", before the waiter brings it to your table?" He was so adamant since this was the first time that a commenter wouldn't agree with him. This man likes to be showered with praise and so accustomed to hearing praise that he got the shock of his life that a fairly new commenter would disagree with him. I would have thought that because he was a well-travelled man, he'd be open to suggestions. Besides, he had boasted of being in Europe a zillion times, even lived there--so what the heck is the problem? Why couldn't he enjoy a bit of banter about a stupid steak, rather than getting all the commenters to gang up on me just because they idolise him?

[hill roberts]

So, after almost 300 comments from his flock of fans, on this particular topic alone, he told me in no uncertain terms that I wasn't welcome anymore to comment on his page. Perhaps, some of you guys would be familiar with his site since he has now a big following. I think it's because his boast is bigger than this cooking abilities. Still, I don't miss not joining anymore, after all, I was there for about a month only,  enjoying his travelogue. But really, I was amazed at the venom of his fans by calling me names! Que? One would have thought that they belonged to a sophisticated group since many commenters were/are US-based. To my horror, their thinking was so "down the pits" that I said to myself, if these guys' attitude hasn't changed despite living in the States, then maybe, just maybe, they have continued to mingle with only one group: their own! I saw no need to argue with narrow-minded, insular people, whose idea of idolatry is limited to praise, songs of praise and nothing more. Not being able to accept someone who, quite rightly, disagreed, not because of principle, but plain common sense, was to me, a reflection of what Filipinos are, in general---Change? You must be kidding! I have observed time and again, that those Filipinos based in the States (well not all, so please, those reading this, don't jump on me!) are somehow in need of a good telling off. I can see now why the Philippines will never change for as long as there's a huge group in the States who conglomerate in oneness, ah, yes, the "pakikisama syndrome"--to gang up on one person, because she disagreed. A sad reflection in my eyes since I expected a more sophisticated thinking from their usual "inggit-judgemental observation.

[hill roberts]

Mind you, that was the first time that one particular topic hit almost 300 comments, thanks to me, I suppose, ha ha ha! So, to all Forum Members, don't be afraid to disagree, if  you think you are right. If you're wrong, then, apologise, or accept it and move on. No good weeping and moping. The cyberspace world is like that: indifferent, impersonal, loving, unfair, idiotic at times, but overall, it's a great way to socialise and have fun. As for me, don't expect any change soon. I'm too old for that "pakikisama syndrome" - a disease common in 90% of Filipinos.

Cheers!

[hill roberts]

P.S. Let me explain that bit about "leaving it in the kitchen..."

He said, "Tell the Chef to leave the steak there for 8-9 minutes, before the waiter brings it to your table..."( after grilling it, then leave it there for 8-9 minutes??)

This was the crux of the argument...so I said, "I want my steak hot!"  Why should I let it go cold in the kitchen? Besides, the Chef will be annoyed if you ordered him about. Besides, who wants a cold steak once it reaches your table? 

And he kept insisting that "it's the right way of doing things..." What? Why, is he the one going to eat my steak, for him to almost order me to leave it in the kitchen that long, while it was getting cold, just because he suggested it? Why should I accept his silly suggestion? Sure, other fans would, not yours truly. I emphasised to him, "I want my steak hot!" not cold. What about  you, forum members, would you like your steak served cold, after standing in the kitchen for 8-9 minutes?

[hill roberts]

Oops...

"...his boast is bigger than his cooking abilities."

[hill roberts]

...or perhaps, just "cooking ability..."