Making Sense of Academic Talk
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The following list of phrases and their definitions might help you understand the mysterious language of science and medicine. These special phrases are also applicable to anyone working on a Ph.D. dissertation or academic paper anywhere!
“It has long been known” = I didn’t look up the original reference.
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“A definite trend is evident” = These data are practically meaningless.
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“While it has not been possible to provide definite answers to the questions…” = An unsuccessful experiment, but I still hope to get it published.
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“Three of the samples were chosen for detailed study” = The other results didn’t make any sense.
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“Typical results are shown” = This is the prettiest graph.
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“These results will be in a subsequent report” = I might get around to this sometime, if pushed/funded.
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“In my experience…” = once.
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“In case after case…” = twice.
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“In a series of cases…” = thrice.
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“It is believed that…” = I think.
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“It is generally believed that…” = A couple of others think so, too.
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“Correct within an order of magnitude” = Wrong.
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“According to statistical analysis…” = Rumor has it.
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“A statistically oriented projection of the significance of these findings…” = A wild guess.
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“A careful analysis of obtainable data” = Three pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over a glass of pop.
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“It is clear that much additional work will be required before a complete understanding of this phenomenon occurs”= I don’t understand it.
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“After additional study by my colleagues…”= They don’t understand it either.
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“Thanks are due to Joe Blotz for assistance with the experiment and to Cindy Adams for valuable discussions” = Mr. Blotz did the work and Ms. Adams explained to me what it meant.
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“A highly significant area for exploratory study” = A totally useless topic selected by my committee.
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“It is hoped that this study will stimulate further investigation in this field” = I quit.
—From Lots of Jokes website (http://www.lotsofjokes.com/academic_talk.asp)