Authentic statements from English-as-a-Second-Language placement tests English is not an easy language. Something that’s close to what you might want to say could mean something completely different. Here are some actual things spoken or written by nonnative English speakers who are a little rusty on their English:“A world without television is a world without knowing, and without television there would be no famous people.”
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“History deeply amuses, from the Ice Age to the war in Iraq.”
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“I was a prodigy of a teenage pregnancy.”
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“I hate to see people sad or angry because you only get one life so why waste it on retarted stuff.”
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“Cell phones evolutionated the industry of communication.”
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“I recently gave birth to a gorgeous and healthy five-month-old baby girl.”
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“If not for the cell phones, we would still not know where we are at.”
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“If you seat down and wash TV all time, you get fat.”
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“We could talk, eat snakes and laugh.”
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“In conclusion, television affects my life by not getting a part-time job in the afternoon.”
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“In the 18th century, there weren’t many television programs designed for children.”
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“New Mexico are my best experience or best times I never had.”
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“Sometimes television’s programation has bad bad quality of programs.”
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“Travel is an activity that makes me feel another person.”
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“I felt the happiest woman on Earth at the time.”
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“T.V. could be bad too because you could go more blinder.”
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“Just feeling the cool breeze going through my face.”
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“I use my dancing skills at clubs, churches, and AA gatherings.”
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“I came to the conclusion that apart from myself, I don’t have any talents.”
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“On top of her, I have a pretty big family.”
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“Anyone can laugh at a good joke or enjoy watching a friend trip.”
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“When I’m in my nursing home and some detestable scoundrel dares to steal my pudding, you know I’ll be willing to throw down.”
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“The calming crash of the waves against the rocks screamed serenity.”
—From “Things People Said: The Language Barrier”
