Jose Carillo's English Forum
General Category => Language Humor at its Finest => Topic started by: Joe Carillo on August 20, 2010, 11:20:03 PM
-
28 + 1 Funny Signs Found on Real Businesses
You are invited to savor the wicked double entendres in this 2010 Forum collection of 28 + 1 hilarious signs found on real businesses. Check them up now before these businesses start floundering and close shop for being too smart-alecky and too impertinent!
Sign on an electrician’s truck (which is also part of the electrician's opening to female homebodies):
Let us remove your shorts.
(http://josecarilloforum.com/imgs/electrician-makes-a-call-1A1.png)
IMAGE CREDIT: PINTEREST.COM
***
Maternity clothes shop:
We are open on Labor Day.
***
Non-smoking area:
If we see you smoking we will assume you on fire and take appropriate action.
***
On a maternity room door:
Push, Push, Push
***
On a front door:
Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog.
***
Optometrist’s Office:
(http://josecarilloforum.com/imgs/optometrist-office_pun-1A1.png)
***
Scientist’s Door:
Gone Fission
***
Taxidermist’s window:
We really know our stuff.
***
Podiatrist’s window:
Time wounds all heels.
***
Butcher’s window:
Let me meat your needs.
***
Used-car lot:
Second-hand cars in first crash condition
***
Sign on fence:
Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive.
(http://josecarilloforum.com/imgs/salesmen-welcome_dog-food-expensive-1A1.png)
***
Car dealership:
The best way to get back on your feet—miss a car payment.
***
Muffler shop:
No appointment necessary. We’ll hear you coming.
***
Hotel:
“Help!”: We need inn-experienced people.
***
Butcher’s window:
Pleased to meat you.
***
Auto body shop:
May we have the next dents?
***
Sign in an office:
We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left.
***
Veterinarian’s waiting room:
Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!
***
The electric company:
We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don’t, you will be.
***
Beauty shop:
Dye now!
(http://josecarilloforum.com/imgs/woman_dye-now-1A1.png)
***
Garbage truck:
We’ve got what it takes to take what you’ve got.
***
Computer store:
Out for a quick byte
***
Diner window:
Don’t stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up.
***
Bowling alley:
Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop.
***
Cafeteria:
Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want.
***
Music library:
Bach in a minuet.
***
Funeral home:
Drive carefully; we’ll wait.
—From Tina’s Humor Page (http://monster-island.org/tinashumor/humor/punsigns.html)
Plus:
These gamut of contradictory highway signages to blow your top:
(http://josecarilloforum.com/imgs/funnysigns5_whattodo-1A1.png)