« on: April 17, 2011, 09:26:32 AM »
Puns to Alleviate the Pain of Occupational DismissalsWhen people lose their jobs they may be dismissed, sacked, fired or kicked out; they may be out on their ear or on their neck; they may be shown the door; or they may be given their cards, their marching orders, the push, the elbow, the old heave-ho or the order of the boot.Some professions, however, have their own individual terminology for this situation: a clergyman may be defrocked, a lawyer disbarred, an army officer cashiered.
Why should not people in other walks of life also have their own terms for dismissal? We recommend the following to alleviate the pain of being fired:An office-worker could be defiled.
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A salesman could be disordered.
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A writer could be described.
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A journalist could be depressed.
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A botanist could be deflowered.
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A wine merchant could be deported.
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A traffic warden could be defined.
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A cashier could be distilled.
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A poet could be diversified.
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A celebrity could be defamed.
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A cricketer could be detested.
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A climber could be dismounted.
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A jailer could be excelled.
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A policeman could be unwarranted.
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A judge could be dishonored.
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A bishop could be disgraced.
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A model could be deposed.
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A neurologist could be unnerved.
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An engine-driver could be distrained.
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A gambler could be discarded.
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A conjuror could be disillusioned.
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A prostitute could be delayed.
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A Moonie could be dissected.
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A Chinese waiter could be disoriented.
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A solicitor could be distorted.
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A rabble-rouser could be demobbed.
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A mathematician could be nonplussed.
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A diplomat could be disconsolate.
And here are some more proposed puns:
An investment banker could be distrusted.
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A lawyer could be displeased.
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A steel worker could be distempered.
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An immunologist could be disinfected.
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A tax collector could be distributed.
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A chef could be distasteful.
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A convict could be discriminated.
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A barker could be disclaimed.
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A fisherman could be despondent.
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A cowboy could be deranged.
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A skirtmaker could be depleted.
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A bully could be demeaned.
For those in other professions these choice of exits would be available:
A statistician could be discounted or disfigured.
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A butcher could be disjointed or delivered.
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An actor could be displayed or departed.
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A horseman could be derided or unbridled.
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A sorcerer could be dispelled or disenchanted.
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A tennis player could be unloved or defaulted.
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A banker could be discredited or disinterested.
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A hairdresser could be distressed or unlocked.
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A politician could be devoted, denominated, or disappointed.
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An electrician could be delighted or discharged or unearthed.
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A musician could be denoted, disbarred, disbanded, decomposed, or disconcerted.—From a collection in Thinks.com
« Last Edit: March 26, 2019, 09:04:48 PM by Joe Carillo »
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