Cynical Sentiments of the Bitter Half1. “They were married for better or for worse. He couldn’t have done better and she couldn’t have done worse.”
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2. “It must have been ‘Love At First Sight.’ If she had taken a second look, she’d have turned and run.”
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3. “He’s made her so nervous she’s losing weight, but she won’t leave him. She’s waiting till he gets her down to 125 lbs.”
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4. “The only reason why she’s had nine children by him is that she’s trying to lose him in a crowd.”
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5. “He was her ideal before marriage—now he’s an ordeal.”
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6. “The doctor says she needs sea air, so he’s fanning her with a mackerel.”
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7. “He used to call her his cute little dish, now he calls her his cute little ‘dishwasher’.”
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8. “He needed a wife because sooner or later, something was bound to happen that he couldn't blame on the government.”
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9. “When she asks him for clothes money, he tells her to go to the best shops and pick some nice things—but for her not to get caught.”
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10. “He hasn’t paid any attention to her in years, but he’ll shoot any man who does.”
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11. “Once a cyclone ripped their roof off and whirled them a half mile through the air. It was the first time in years they were out together.”
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12. “He’s the perfect gentleman. When she drops something, he kicks it to where she can pick it up easier.”
—From the AngelFire.com website
